Where Categories Go To Die


Deep in the lowest levels of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Rap Emporium, below the research assistants’ work space, we have anechoic chamber with just a record player and three records–Stars of the Lid’s The Tired Sounds of Stars of The Lid, Blut Aus Nord’s The Work Which Transfoms God, and Coco Rosie’s La maison de mon rêve. One floor below that, we’ll call it sub-basement three, you’ll find two locked rooms. As you enter from the stairwell, you can turn left or right. To the right, we have the room where we keep the categories that we’re not really proud to have written. I call this room the “Shameber”, but Nick thinks that’s some hack shit, and he’s probably right.

But if you look left, you’ll see The Dungeon of Done Categories. This is the room where we keep categories that have simply been done to death. In this room you’ll find a complete set of the Star Wars films (including the Harmy Despecialized version, because we are not animals), a bunch of references to The Simpsons, any question one could ever ask about Aesop Rock, and a poster of the Lorelai and Rorylai Gilmore Girls. Sometimes, I walk through this room looking at the categories and thinking about all the fun we had.

Sure, every now and then one of these subjects might get touched on, but they are like collector cars at this point. We wipe them down, get in line behind the marching band and idle along the parade route. The message is, “Don’t forget I have a 1994 Chrysler convertible. And what droid is this?”

Now it seems the shelves in the Dungeon of Done Categories are about to get a little more crowded. Last week, it was demanded of me that The Oeuvre of David Lynch be retired. And it’s a fair request. No more Dune. No more Twin Peaks. No more Inland Empire. I think it’s time.

Then, as I was recklessly posting clues yesterday morning, I muttered to myself, “Ugh, Charles Manson again”? So I think Charles Manson needs to head into the dungeon. Maybe not permanently, but at least he should be given a residency on a shelf somewhere.

I’ll have to see if Nick and Lewis will sign off on it.

Also, I know I owe you all some serious recappery at this point, and we’ll get there. Just stick with me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>