When the Nick is Away…

Apparently this is what happens when Nick goes on vacation. I sit here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Misery Annex, trying to figure out the best way to prank him. I already ruined the first thought when I started pitching him the concept of “warm gin” before he even left.

“Think about it, you’re having a party. Maybe it’s a pool party. It’s just going to be abs and butts and boobs everywhere. You pick up a jumbo bottle of Beefeater which you had put out there, poolside, at nine in the morning. It’s mid afternoon now, the sun has been cooking the bottle. To the touch you wouldn’t call it ‘hot’, but it’s certainly in that 20-min old coffee range. You pop the top on that bad boy, pour it in a coffee mug and start sip-sip-sipping through your reusable metal straw.” 

And all he had to say was “Gross.”

Come on, Nick, live a little. 

So now only real prank options I can think of filling his office with scorpions, tossing the rotting carcass of a cow into his office in hopes of attracting buzzards or burning down his childhood home. All of which seem less funny the more I think of them.

Needless to say, the time not spent scheming has been spent getting ready for this week’s Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia shows. We’re kicking it off tonight at Company Brewing, and it is certain to be a banger. There will be a category about famous fictional bartenders. You know we’re going to have a Tour de France recap to drop on you, and as a special treat we’re going to introduce you to the 100 percent, completely and randomly selected town of Bothell, Washington.    

These are going to be heaters from your head to your feeters. And you know the CoBrewCrew is going to keep you happy and hydrated. You could grab one of those Cer.Voces, a Mexican dark lager that must be amazing. Or, if you’re truly a lover of life, you can walk up to bar, order a tall glass of gin, slip the bartender a couple extras dollars and say, “Maybe you pop this bad boy in the microwave for 35-45 seconds…”

Ultimately it doesn’t matter what your drink of choice is. What matters is that you’ve got your team at Company Brewing tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


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