We Ain’t Done Here

Players, I write to you today, not as a trivia writer, one-time host and famous horse whisperer, but as a fellow human who made a mistake.

Let me speak on it.

I’ve been in the process of building a new bike because the trails here, around the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Satellite Office of Worthless Knowledge and Medical Marijuana Acquisition, can only be improved with 130mm of full squish. The other night I was piecing the rig together and I reached a natural stopping point in the build. I also I knew I had to venture out to Target for like five items.

It was then that I figured, as an acquirist of Medical Marijuana, due to my crippling anxiety and history of a rather significant brain injury, I should gobble down this edible and ride out the evening.

So I did. I then organized my various cables, cranks, calipers and tools needed to assemble an absolute ripper of a mountain bike. And it was mid-organizing that I could feel the cannabis creep coming on. I checked my watch. This came on much too quickly. Target would be closed in an hour. I knew the feeling that was setting in and I never even considered the insanity of driving to a store. My focus was squarely on the utter impossibility of me navigating a mid-level department store and its big box retail landscape.

Sure, I was only going for body wash, gum, clay pomade, a particular brand of chunky peanut butter and deodorant. There was no way I would have been able to handle that within 60 minutes. I would need at least 45 minutes to figure out which Minecraft themed easter basket would look best as a centerpiece on the patio table, if I were to ever buy a home with a great patio space and take up celebrating the ascension of your lord and savior Jesus Christ.

And I would have to maintain some sort of composure when the check-out maitre d attempted to usher me to the self check-out zone. You really think I, now stoned out of my mind, was ready to say, “Oh no no, I don’t work here. So until I get an employee discount on my purchases I will not be ringing up my own items”. You really think I could tackle that task with a known time constraint dangling over me like my own personal sword of Damocles?

Come on.

Instead I somehow got onto Cecil Taylor’s The Complete, Legendary, Live Return Concert: Recorded at Town Hall, New York City on November 4, 1973.

So anyway, now we have categories on Jazz and the University of Wisconsin.

The show starts tonight at 7pm at Company Brewing. See you there.


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