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The Second Act of Summer

I could use a vacation FROM my vacation. 

I mean, what a week. We started off an absolutely buck wild Canada Day, during which I had to shout down simps talking about the wonders of state-sponsored healthcare, walkable communities and roads that don’t feel like driving over a washboard. Then came the mandatory 5 days of sparklers, hot dogs, Toby Keith music just blasting through the speakers on the powerboat. Truly, the days of American Exceptionalism

And to top it all off, yesterday, every American got to watch the US Men’s National Team graciously let the Mexicans take home some minor soccer trophy. Not to downplay it, but I suspect the men’s team knows that the body is like a battery, you only have so much energy and you can’t be spending it all willy-nilly against teams like Mexico

I cannot wait to see the coach’s plan to energy conservation for the 2022 World Cup. How will they top the 2018 approach of not-even-qualifying? Think about all the battery energy saved. 

But now it’s back to normal. Sure, America is still number one in everything, but someone has to earn a few bucks to keep jumbo bottles of Heinz Kranch (that’s Ketchup and Ranch together) sauce on the picnic tables. 

That also means, those crapchunks over at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia are back at it. Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick is going to walk into Company Brewing, fill a camelbak full of Bounce House Citra Wit and rattle off 50 questions on super lame things like Girls Soccer and their game yesterday, and then a couple of categories about white men–specifically Philip Seymour Hoffman and Tarzan. 

If you’re into Trivia and that sort of thing, you’ll want to be at Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

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