Returning to the Parks

A note to all trivia players: It’s time to step-up your performance. These games you’ve been playing, it’s like a Backstreet Boys single. Each week I think a different team has the opportunity to take down Alphabet Mafia, but no one ever does it.  

You take a team like Milwaukee Tunnel Snakes, a team that shows up every week, and I get so excited for their arrival. I tidy the place up, rearrange the bookshelf so only the Murakami, Phillip Roth and Roberto Bolano books are showing. Tucked away are the How To Write Trivia and An Introduction to Modern Alchemy: Making Your First Million With Online Gambling. But none of it matters, It’s like they don’t even notice me. 

Then there is the Tunnelsnakes Take Chicago. They show up, slide their way into our trivia hearts, and then start running their cons. “Send us $50 and we’ll come see a live trivia show.” “We can’t play tonight because John’s sambas are scuffed. If he had a fresh pair we’d totally be there. Maybe you could have a pair delivered for him.” and “Send us all the answers and we’ll send you a pic of some crisp sneaks on a grimy-ass Chicago side. We’ll even crush some sport peppers in cracks so you know it’s Chicago.” And here I am one year later still trying to figure out if there is anything good in this bit about John wearing Adidas sambas.

Then there is Drink Tickets, who have pulled a full role-reversal and are now just sending stamped blocks of Zinc to me. I know it’s not a precious, or even semi-precious metal, but I’m pretty sure it’s a D-block metal, in which case the D stands for dope. Maybe even super dope. 

And I could single out each team, point out their successes and failures, like some kind of performance review, but there isn’t time for that. We need to finish writing a category about the national parks for tonight’s show. Laura Dern’s Chelsea has to map out her attacks on the entire Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia organization. Attacks I assume can only be attributed to Phil Nike’s signature on her paychecks and my strong commitment to the weak storyline about John’s Adidas Sambas.

Plus, every team needs to get registered for the show. 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then. 


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