Up & Under, Roll It & Light It

League play rolls on!

Tonight we’re taking it over the river to that little slice of Heaven Milwaukee likes to call Brady Street.

I’m not about to make fun of your religion or your concept of heaven, but I really have some questions if you look at the littered gutters, or get noseful of the constant vomit aroma and think, “this is it. It gets no better.”

For real, I once saw a man run from like three bars away, do some weird jump kick, and pogo off a very large motorcycle, knocking it over. The dude got up and walked away, while this crew of very-large-motorcycle-riding-looking-men laughed and one yelled, “Fuck yeah, World Cup.”

I should note this was during the 2010 World Cup. Nonetheless how does that happen? And does that happen on a daily basis? What is the murder rate of chumps on Brady street? I assume it’s 100 percent, right?

Well one way to find out is to get down to the Up & Under tonight. Lewis, a man who once launched a rolling papers company that featured classic works of art on each piece and was called Stona Lisa, which always struck me as too easy when he totally could have called it Caravaggio’s Young Siiiick Bacchus 1593 or Artemisia Gentileschi’s David and Bath-Cheeba (year unknown), will be hosting the show. It starts tonight at 7pm. See you there.

 

CoBrew Winter League Commence!

Company Brewing players, I hope you have your trivia shoes dusted off because there is trivia stomping to do tonight.

Trivia stomping is a lot like line dancing, but instead of music the stompers movements are set to murmur of other teams. Trivia shoe are the other major differentiator between line dancing and trivia stomping. Traditional footwear is a mismatched pair. The right shoe is a Haviana flip-flop in the colors of the Brazilian flag and the toe strap has busted through the EVA sole so the whole thing is just flopping around now. On the left is typically on oversized deep-sea diving boot with a brass toecap and 17kg weighted sole. The oversizing is important because the boot is then filled with water from Trunch Lake and the roominess does all for the stomper to move somewhat while the boot stays planted. Some superstitious trivia stompers will fill their boot with Trunch Lake water and not change it throughoutthe duration of league play.

Which brings us to tonight’s Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia show–Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick is kicking off his Late Winter League TONIGHT.  We’ve got several thousand new questions and Nick is coming at you with nothing but the finest of the finer things. We’re talking about Old Cigarette Marketing Slogans. We’re talking about the 2019 Grammy Awards. We’re talking about Ventriloquism.

But most importantly, we’re talking about all of you sliding into those trivia stomping shoes and getting yourself to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Velumtimes!

 

Let me tell you a little something about trivia, there are two kinds of trivia players. Those who don’t like Valentine’s Day, and those who weren’t even aware it was Valentine’s Day.

Look at any trivia crowd, but the one at Glass Nickel specifically for this example. These are clearly not people who need to worry about significant others. These may not be people with others regardless of the significance. These are pure trivia machines.

Okay, sure, there are some who play trivia and claim to have partners. Travis and Kathleen both claim to be married. Yet, when I ask why there spouses never join the team they stammer through some trash answer about how, “They work nights, but they’re super smart and this trivia wouldn’t even be hard for them. And they live in Canada on Thursdays.”

Something doesn’t add up there.

Maybe there are three types of people who play trivia–those who don’t like Valentine’s Day, those who weren’t even aware it was Valentine’s Day and those with possibly fictional spouses. You could also say there are those who play trivia with their signifs. I guess that’s cool, how ever you want to live your life. But can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night months later, looking at someone and just thinking, “I told you that duck’s name was Trevor.”

That’s some weight.

So really there are four types of people ready to play trivia on Valentine’s day–those who don’t like Valentine’s Day, those who weren’t even aware it was Valentine’s Day, those with possibly fictional spouses and those who play with their partners.

That’s not to exclude a team like Fuck the EFG, who may or may not show up tonight. The average age on this team is roughly turning-twenty-one-at-midnight. So they are deeeeeep millennials. If you thought it was bad that young adults were ruining avocados, banks, cars, print pornography, plastic straws, consumerism, dating, the scene in The Force Awakens when Kylo Ben kills Hands Solo, books, ebooks, things that aren’t even books, punching down, house parties, malls, the 40-hour work week, water skiing, mini golf, pants and getting really high, turning the shitty basement of that house where you lived during college into a dojo and claiming you were going to get into “all sorts of kung fu”, then you should see what this team is doing to league play.

Wisconsin’s Hardest Greg: “Hey guys, it’s league time, so you earn point by being here each week. Are you coming back next week?”  

Fuck the EFG: “Who knows? Maybe. We might take a week off. But we’ll be back after that.”

WHG: “Oh, okay. Thanks for co…”
[The whole Fuck the EFG team disappears into a thick, cumulonimbus, straight-up thunderhead cloud of vape]

And this doesn’t even go into the relationship anarchist, singles and squares. I guess there are really like 500 types of people who play trivia. Whatever type you are, you can join us for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tonight at Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood. As always, we’ll be in the basement and the show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Up & Under Late Winter League Begins at the Commencement of the Next Measure

Let’s consider the Up & Under players for a moment, shall we?

Certainly, they read the category run down from yesterday. They got the memo on the Keri Russell category. They were pleased to hear about the Strongman Contest questions. And those Constellations…oh mama. These Up & Under players are some real freak nasties when it comes to constellations. In fact, I won’t be surprised to learn that at least one person will mutter, “Celestial body indeed” at tonight’s show.

But now, let’s add to that info the knowledge that the Up & Under Late Winter League is firing up tonight. I believe the correct sound effects would be a wolf whistle, a train laying down a loooooooong horn blow before entering a tunnel, the nokia ringtone, and then Pam Poovey saying, “Sploosh”.

I mean these Up & Under players, these fools are horny on Main, Brady and at each and every light rail stop in the city.

So assuming the teams can keep it together,and Up & Under doesn’t get shut down for being too horned up, league play is going to start for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. Lewis, a man whose bumper sticker reads “Keep the Len in Valentine’s” with a picture of Leonard Nimoy, will be at the helm. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

 

Peak 2019

 

Trivia players, take a look at the work we’ve done. Gaze upon these week seven questions with wonder and awe. Celebrate the 50 inquiries, for each has been written and tonight’s show is ready to go. This is certainly the earliest we’ve had a show completed this year, and maybe ever. So scoop up Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia and dump it all over yourselves. Soak it the power.

Milwaukee players will get the first taste of this week’s trivia tonight at Company Brewing in Riverwest. I just checked the tap list over there and I cannot recommend the Blue Dress Park enough. For real, we’re facing down another blast of winter’s fury and you’re talking about drinking super-hopped IPAs? C’mon, act like an adult. Get yourself a mild porter.

Anyway, Nick is set to deliver the goods tonight. He’s got categories on Constellations, Strong Man Competitions and Keri Russell.

Those sound like three killer categories to me, and here’s what’s really great…he’s got seven more. I don’t want to call tonight’s show insane-o, but if the back end work of this week’s show is any indicator, we’re looking at an unsustainable level of creativity and organization sure to emit a million billion lumens for one to two weeks at best before fading back to something more like a menorah on the fourth or fifth night. What I’m getting at is that you don’t want to miss it. The Company Brewing show starts tonight at 7pm. See you there.

Tuesdays are for Time Travel

I imagine you Up & Under players are all geared up for tonight’s show. Y’all are thinking, “We’ve had more than 24 hours to study. We’re going to crush it.”

But news flash, players. You’re getting a time travelling show. Lewis, a man who claims to be the legitimate interim vice president of Venezuela but has yet to see any domestic or international support, is breaking out the show from last week.

That means you’re going to want to do a bit of research on Billiards, Chinese Dynasties and the North Shore of Minnesota.

Then, you’re going to want to get to Up & Under by 7pm tonight. See you then.

That John Denver is Full of Shit, Man

Players, time is limited today so we’re going to get right into it. The CoBrew show is a GO! tonight. Nick is bringing the heat in the form of 50 top-notch trivia questions. He’s got a categories on the film WALL-E, Great State Seals of Great States and then the Grand Canyon.

I assume you read those and said, “Damn, those are some bangers. I gotta play this trivia.”

If so, you need to get yourself to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. They’ve got your food and drink wants and needs covered, and Nick IS the entertainment. All you have to do is be there by 7pm. See you then.

Consider Your Motivation For Getting Out Tonight

Before you start complaining about the cold, or how you’re wearing 12 layers and you’re considering skipping trivia tonight, I want you to think about the earliest settlers of Wisconsin, and specifically Madison.

Think about how they didn’t have their Nest thermostats turned up to 76. Or a neighbor kid who shoveled their sidewalks. They didn’t have technical fabrics and 800 down fill. They didn’t have heated smart slippers that stay perfectly regulated at 88 degrees via an app that I control through convoluted Siri and IfTTT Rube Goldberg system.

No no, they had letterman’s jackets and dumb ear muffs with plastic framing that never really got warm. These early people, they didn’t have heated steering wheels or seats. It’s a life I can’t imagine many of us surviving.

But, every Thursday they slipped on their boots, lit a cigarette (probably indoors because these pioneer folk understood the difficulty of lighting a dart in the winter wind and didn’t understand the difficulty of kicking a habit that would almost certainly lead to a lifetime a health problems. Plus, you know these fools weren’t running vape rigs back then), and strolled to a local pizza place for what was then called Taychopera’s Hardest Trivia, or Ouisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. They struggled, but it was the good struggle.

Now that you know a little more of the history of this land, are you really going to look back the generations of those who weathered harsher winters with less and say, “It’s cool, I’m going to stay in and write some more Masked Singer slash fic, because you know the Unicorn and Peacock fuck like truck drivers.”

No, you’re not going to do that. Mostly because no one ever says “…fuck like truck drivers”. But more importantly, you’re going to get out of the house. Sure it’s going to be a little cold, but once you get yourself to the Glass Nickel, you’re going to find Jake keeping you toasty with drinks, the kitchen will be firing off hot pies all night, and I’ll be asking all sorts of dumb questions that are sure to get you angry-warm. All you have to do is be there by 7pm.

See you then.

 

A Northern Expedition

Once again we southern Wisconsonians are digging out our driveways and sidewalks and cars or Bird scooters just so we can make it through the day and get ready for another raucous week of trivia.

To figure out how people live like this I traveled to Northern Minnesota. Was it an expansion expedition? Maybe, if those cats at Pizza Lucé Duluth ever want to dump that bum trivia squad they have now and get on board with a real show.

Or was the purpose of the trip was to check the progress on Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters II and Great Lakes Grey Market Fishery on the banks of the Onion River, 500 feet from where it dumps into Gitche Gummee?

Only time will tell.

I can tell you that Sunday morning I was awoken to the sound of a strange voice in the place we were staying. I then heard some of my fellow northerly adventurers, talking about how the heater had died overnight and the main floor was only 42 degrees. I grabbed my phone, checked the local temp and learned it was a cool -26F outside. I stayed in my bed under the covers.

Then the strange voice returned, not to fix the furnace, but to drop off space heaters. You know, the perfect solution. He suggested putting one in the loft, but a co-adventurist says “I’m pretty sure they’re fine. It’s toasty up there”

To which the space-heater-bringer says “They won’t be for long, up there, they’re closer to the sky.”

This is a man who, I assume was not new to the land, had seemingly no idea how hot and cold air work together. He also seemed to think of the sky as a fixed point rather than a concept. Anyway, I laughed from my warm bed and yelled, “We are cloud people. We are of the sky.”

But -26 is super cold and it took 10 hours for my toes to warm up.

What I’m getting at is that Northern Minnesota is really cold right now. And Milwaukee and Madison will be soon enough. We’re hanging out to see how this impacts trivia shows,, but you can believe it when I tell you it’s a top to bottom thriller this week. We’re going to discuss the world of Billiards, Various Chinese Dynasties and Duluth and the North Shore of Minnesota.   

We are currently planning on putting the Company Brewing players on blast tonight. Nick’s got nearly all of the required 50 questions and by the time 7pm rolls around he’s going to be dropping knowledge. All you need to do is show up and soak in the good times. See you tonight.

 

Freezin’ All Week

Word on the street is the entire city of Milwaukee is in a deep freeze. Not to be confused with the city’s typical status of “very chill’. Some people might even consider Milwaukee a no drama mama.

But don’t fret, as things are about to thaw tonight.

“Thaw” might be an understatement. Don’t be surprised if you drive by Company Brewing tonight and the windows are fogged over like those of a sedan from a 1980s movie set in the 1950s in which a time travelling, skateboarding werewolf almost has sex with his own mother. A classic family film. Yeah, dude, it’s about to get hot.

 

I guess what I’m getting at here is Nick is nearly locked and loaded with 50 questions that should at least warm your soul with anger and frustration. He’s going to be talking about things like the cats of instagram, food movies and the 2019 Dakar Rally Recap. I don’t want to prejudge the people playing trivia but I suspect those cats of instagram scores will be significantly better than the Dakar Rally scores.

Regardless of your areas of expertise or ignorance, you’re going to want to be at Company Brewing tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

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