Come On Feel the Trivia

Let me tell you players, I’m finally feeling safe enough to step out of my house. The comments got heated last week, and you know when the comments get heated, the emotions are burning up. I can’t just be walking out, unprotected, into an angry public. Even with my face mask on people were like, “Oh that’s that piece of shit, Greggers. He thinks the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia game is a game. Fuck him. He’s fucking dog shit”.

It seems some players are tired of learning fun facts about Copper Country in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Like they don’t want to know anything else about what some local experts considered the best skiing spots in the midwest. Others DGAF bout LLB (don’t give a fuck about Lac La Belle). Others we’re just plain mean in the comments and dropped comments like “BigRik don’t look so big standing next to my zero points in this round,” and “BigRik? More like BigFuckTheUPTheHiddenGemOfTheMidwestRik”. 

But yet, few teams seemed willing to take away that last place position. So it was a lot of talk and not a lot of action. Of course, it’s times like these that a hero emerges. And this week that hero is Laura Dern’s Laura Dern Sweatshirt. Sure, they immediately crashed their advantage off into a parking meter by spilling the beans regarding a category about Sufjan Stevens–“Ol’ Two States” Stevens as he’s known around here. 

That is the kind of self sacrifice that could someday have us losing our minds over pics of Laura Dern wearing a Laura Dern’s Laura Dern Sweatshirt sweatshirt. 

I bet LD is just the raddest person to hang out with. 

So, if you think you’ve got the mental strength to either dominate a Sufjan category, or blow it so bad that your team is writing a category about various holiday nogs, or whatever you’re into, sign your rump for this week’s Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia show. It’s Wednesday at 7pm central. 

To get your team in the mix, register like this: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

 

Deep in the League Mucky Muck

We are entering the closing weeks of the Late 2020 league here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. And things are not quite shaking out as I expected. We all knew where teams like Milwaukee Tunnel Snakes and Graj Darts were going to end up. I believe the legend of their trivia play is whispered in hush tones and kids on the streets call them Trivia Power Bottoms. Which is different from your standard Power Bottom because it’s hard to tell if these Trivia Power Bottoms are putting in any effort. 

And then on top we’ve got the superstar players of We Didn’t Start the Fires. I’m not surprised to see this sort of domination from them, but I have to ask, “What took so long?”

Then we have a [OG]Neal of Fortune camped out in their second place hut, which is at risk of being overrun by Scrambled Eggs or Bienvenido a Blockbuster. Then we’ve got that whole middle ground. A churning vat of whey and curd. Who will rise to the top this week? Drink Tickets? Chodes variation? Spoony Bards? Tunnel Snakes Take Chicago? No one knows, but I assume, like cheese curds they are only good for one or two days and best served on poutine. 

All that said each week is any team’s game to win. You don’t even need to be involved in this league hullabaloo to win a $100 or $50 gift card. Just show up and know some shit. And if you’re playing this week. I have to recommend you know a little bit about Frank Zappa and a little more about Copper Country

To get your team in the mix, register like this: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix. 

 

Trivia Wednesday Services

Let’s look back at where we’ve been in the last week. We had Black Metal Friday, The Sunday Coming Feast, Sunday Sunday Sunday, Cybering Monday (as was promised to us in the 1992 film Lawnmowing Man) and Giving Tuesday, which is actually pronounced .GivingTues. 

Now we find ourselves here, in the throes of Trivia Wednesday. It’s really the easiest holiday to celebrate during Capitalism’s Holy Week. It’s as simple as you registering to play, then showing up for Zoom Service tonight at 7pm.

Of course we’ve also borrowed a bit from other religions. We do ask that upon entering the Holy Zoomiary that you adjust your camera and then check your Air Pods. This is kind of the WIsconsin’s Hardest Trivia take on the old catholic “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch/sign of the cross” routine. We could discuss that only a quarter of that analogy is accurate, but that’s for another time. It’s also pretty well known that everyone here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia stares at their screen before just putting their head down five times a day. I’m not going to connect that too closely to a daily Fajr-Dhuhr-Asr-Maghrib-Isha cycle, but it’s at least in the same realm as the sign of the cross bit. 

Anyway, get your team registered, the trivia gods will be pleased with your work: 

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

 

November Closing Fire

Well, well, well. Look who’s back. Fresh off a long holiday weekend, fueled by equal parts stuffing and some arbitrary percentage discount on the Spinneybeck cowhide rugs which design mags have spent at least 20 years trying to convince us are anything more than disgusting. I bet the Good Enough team has like 50 of those things in whatever commune or squat that crew lives in. 

The important part for you to know is that the crew over here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia has got our shit together. Not only are we almost done with questions for this week. We even got Anjali of Ever Increasing Wisconsin Hardness closer to having her own office at HQ. 

For the first few weeks we had her working out of a shuttered Spenser’s Gifts, between a “FBI: Federal Bikini Inspector” tee shirt that claimed it was a medium but fit like a shower curtain and a 2003 desk calendar on which every day was a labeled “Beersday”  except July 21 which was “Eight Martini Monday”. 

Can you imagine, late July in the Good Enough co-living space. The heat and humidity locking in the scent of filth and bong rips. Bartos looks to BigRik and asks “Beersday again?” 

BigRik checks the only calendar anyone in that place has ever owned. “Oh dang, it’s actually Eight Martini Monday”. 

From some dark corner of the space we hear Danger Dave, MD shout, “I’m already there, boys” as he takes a pull off an industrial-sized can of paint thinner. 

But back to Anjali’s new, temporary office. She’s now in the WHT anechoic chamber where I typically record ASMR sessions of me mumbling about how ridiculous the outdoor industry is for establishing and supporting a trend-fueling society in which every single product is at least 40 percent petroleum-based nylons and polyesters.  

Anyway, tune in this week when I’m sure to be wearing my acrylic knit hat and sitting in a plastic chair. To get your team in the mix, follow these steps: 

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

 

The Macy’s Day Before Thanksgiving Day Trivia Show

Time is running out, players. I mean, you still have like 7+ hours, but consider the age of the earth, we’re talking a few billions years and y’all are going to let your team registration slide until the last seven hours. 420 minutes. A stoner joke made on blip, upon another blip on Earth’s timeline. 

I would be upset but I also know tonight’s show still needs to be written. Sure, we’ve got Wisconsin’s Hardest Rifleman Nick coming at you with some category about turkeys, or “jobblers” as he calls them. And Good Enough has come through with their last place request questions. Will it be better or worse than Busted-ass Railroads From the Rich History of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? Only time will tell but I suspect there will be more than one team that uses that round to go get another beer, maybe snag a couple more Nanaimo bars, or just crawl in the oven with the turkey.  

Sure, it might be brutal, but the name is Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. It was going to be called Wisconsin’s Most Tolerated by Spoony Bards, but Nick, Anjali and Greggers Think it’s Hilarious Trivia, but no one is going to be happy with that printed on pint glasses. 

It’s also important to note that this week’s show is totally free for 20 teams. To register, simply follow these instructions:

  1. Email me,Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, and let me know your team is in. I will then send out Zoomiary information this afternoon. 
  2. Gather your friends and family, virtually I hope, but if you want to do it in person I can recommend a great Funeral and Cremation Service for the Milwaukee Metro and suburban markets.
  3. Make sure your team knows the team name and has access to the show. 
  4. Have fun. Maybe even try a little bit and win some prizes. 

See you tonight at 7pm.

 

Thanksgiving Weak

It’s hard to not think of this as Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia All-Star Week. But instead of bringing in the heavy hitters, we’re sending the greatest trivia players out to play in the minor leagues. Whether people were heading home, or home with signifs or just wherever, there was always a chance someone’s parent, let’s just say their mom, Maggie, would say, “Now Greggers, I’ve heard you enjoy playing trivia. So, I thought we could play Trivial Pursuit a little later.” 

And then the heart rate goes up a bit. The excitement starts to build and you start looking around, measuring up your opponents. I was once at a weird art show/concert in Seattle with a friend of mine and a third person who was telling me how he still walks into a joint and checks out the crowd thinking, “If something sets it off in here, who in this crowd am I going to have to choke out.”

That’s a harder approach with a trivia crowd. You eyeball the aunt, it’s hard to tell what she knows of Mark Spitz’s Olympic runs in ‘68 and ‘72. Or the other family friend wearing a Maison Margiela White Replicas, who does this MFer think they are? 

So maybe you start sipping that wine a little too fast. Or what’s up with pops? He’s being real loose with the negroni’s. Is this his plan to bring you down? 

Finally the game starts. Master Edition 2010. This is going to be a cake walk. But the anticipation still builds. You’re sweating a little bit as everyone selects their markers and you have to sit through these amateurs struggling through answers like the New England Patriots, or Cate Blanchett, or Kaufman’s Department Stores

Finally it’s your turn. At this point those drinks are stacked up in your tum tum, but you play it cool. “Hmmm, 2002 you said? If you had said 2000 I would go with The Curse, or possibly The Curse 2. But 2002…huh…AHHHH I’ll try…Ju-On:The Grudge” 

You had that one before you even started talking, but you need to drag these people a bit. Meanwhile these simps are mumbling about the 2004 US remake starring SMG

And now it’s on for you.
Guangzhou Opera House
Nuuk
J. Robert Oppenheimer…Julius
Zoe Kazan
The E stand for Entertainment

Finally you move into that center space and Maggie pulls the card and starts to read, “1876’s…”

And you, fully fueled by Campari by this time, cut her off, “I assume you’re going to say 1876’s Breezing Up (A Fair Wind) on the shores of Kachemak Bay. So the answer is Winslow Homer Alaska.” 

You learn back in your chair, toss down that last sip, and wonder aloud if those Maison Margiela sneaks are actually replicas of Replicas. 

All of that is what happens in a normal year, but there is a real good chance this year is totally different, so we’ll be running a Wednesday night show. You can still add anyone into the mix. And we encourage bringing in new players. To make it even easier, this week’s game is free for all teams. Will there still be prizes? For sure. Will Anjali, Nick and I still put in like 30 percent effort? For sure. But we will be 100 percent thrilled to see you. 

We do still need to maintain some control over the game, so we do need you to register to get your team in the mix. And you can do so by following these steps:

  1. Let me know if your team is playing by emailing me at Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. 
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix. 

 

Onward Trivia Soldiers

Players, don’t think for one minute y’all been forgotten about. 

You all knew that some point, in this week of trying to communicate clearly with an artist in Madrid, watching and supporting as a funeral gets planned and having new windows installed at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium, Internet Content Chop Shop and 3:1 Scale Replica of the Often Unmentioned Abattoir Below the Keebler Elves Hollow Tree Factory, we would let you know Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is GO!

And I know you might be thinking, “Dog, it’s already Wednesday that barely leaves us time to study something like Notable Fools in Shakespeare.” To which I say, how hard can it be? For each answer simply respond “If, you cannot spot the fool within the first minute, you’re the fool, thus our answer is all of Dionne Warwick and the Solid Chode Dancers”, which may not be the correct answer but might prompt Anjali to flash that .gif of Wee-Bey rubbing his chin. 

And now that you know it’s on, it’s time to get your crew signed up. Like this: 

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

 

11/11

Whew! We are on the down slope of another heavy-day double stack. 

Certainly, you all know yesterday was Edmund Fitzgerald Day. To commemorate the event Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick, Anjali of Ever Increasing Wisconsin Hardness and I dropped a canoe at the port of Duluth and had full intentions of delivering this week’s show from the waters of Gitchee Gumee. To stay true to events we planned to take the northern route, and if everything went well, we would cut out just before revealing the final round answers. 

Sure, some people might find this stunt in poor taste. Others might be concerned. But think about how hyped a couple people, specifically the Welcome to Blockbuster crew and the Clever Girl team, would be when we showed up again next week, each claiming to be the new David Blaine but dressed like the old Criss Angel

However, a couple things went wrong. Once they saw what we were up to, the Duluth Seaway Port Authority stepped in and told us this was not a canoe launch, that our plan was ridiculous, the bravery and loss of those 29 men is not a joke, and that the inflatable unicorn Anjali had wrapped around her waist did not even qualify as a personal floatation device. They also seemed very adamant that I “just stop playing that song”. Players, you know I had Gordon Lightfoot’s timeless jam, The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald, bumping out from my phone speaker. 

Their one mistake was that by focusing on us, the Port Authoritarians failed to notice that this year, just like that fateful day 45 years ago, the gales of November had come early and our canoe, “Lil’ Eddy”, had drifted into the port and was taking on water like, well, the Edmund Fitzgerald. 

The day ended when we were all issued citations and not small fines. But not so large that we didn’t stop and get stoned on the Blatnik.

Today, we’re all back in our respective homes and ready for tonight’s show. And while all of you are out there getting your teams together, I’ll be over here stealing valor and snatching up mad deals for singles day.  You’re telling me I can score this Acronym J68-PL in RAF Green for just over $1200 right now? Sign me up for two.   

This is how you get in the mix: 

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.

 

The Give and The Take

Take a moment, players. Catch your breath. It’s been a hell of a weekend. 

Consider how the history books will talk about this time. How voters in the US were able to shake off a would-be despot. How a beast, born of the effluvia of discarded Ron Hextall trading cards and once-airborne Duracells, then mixed with scum that drifts down the Schuylkill River, reared its giant orange head and great, googly eyes, proved there is still hope in the world and that a meme can last forever. And that beast leaned in, spoke not a word, but delivered a clear message, “We offer no apologies. We grant no forgiveness.” 

But life is of the yin and yang. We’ve broken free of a ruler and lost a leader. A true trivia king, Alex Trebek left us this weekend. So you know there will be an entire round celebrating his life and work. And, if we can pull it off, an entire Jeopardy style show. We’re stacking it up, 30 deep, with questions that are answers and answers that are questions. 

The only real question that remains is, “Will you and your team be there?”

If you think you can hang, get in the mix this way:

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

 

The Fog of Life’s War

 

Way back when, like 12 years ago, Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and I started playing trivia at a Monday night show, which led to a tradition we called Mild Hangover Tuesdays. But you have to understand time. We were younger. Lars and Keith were in the house. Bottles of Schlitz were two dollars. 

We would show up just before the show started, order as many as four baskets of chicken strips and then dominate a trivia match. But that wasn’t all of it. Too often we were pushing that bar tab dangerously close to the $100 mark. We would each put in a full day of work and Monday nights we would each, essentially, pick up a second shift at Red Dot. And the next day, with a not insignificant amount of fog in my brain, I would go write press releases and bunkass white papers about how antibiotics in your porks and chickens is no big deal and how the cigarette industry is on your side. 

It was honest work. 

What I’m getting at is I am in the throes of a Slightly-More-Than-Mild Hangover Wednesday. I suspect I’m not the only one facing this. But it’s time to get it together. We’ve got a trivia match to put on tonight. And players, hear me out, we’ve got a hot one for you. Not only are we talking about fictional boats. We’ve got Darts in the Graj FKA Dreadlocks and No Socks: Tales From La Playa coming in with a steamy last place request category. Plus, we’ve got Gremlins 2: The Scrambled Eggs Benedict Cumber-new-batch in the mix after last week’s third place finish earned them a free entry. 

Of course we’re nearly ready for everyone to get in this mix. All you need to do is:

  1. Registering for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

Until then, stay up and stay cool.

 

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