Not Every Category Can be a Banger


First off, the final round, whoa. Nothing like watching a crowd of people gather around a TV and just soak in the blue glow. I haven’t seen that kind of concentration since Uri Geller bent a spoon and then blew up the Challenger.

Here’s what didn’t work:


No one cared, no one scored well through that category, seven people threatened to cut my throat. On the flip side, more than a few of you are now likely to go out of the world like this:

It’ll be some time in the future, maybe 8 or 9 months from now, you’ll be on your deathbed. You reach out to pull your loved ones close, but there won’t be any one there. You might be sad about that, but I want you to move beyond emotion. Once that last breath has escaped your lungs, your loneliness will be irrelevant. I need you to focus all of your dying energy on raising your fist one last time, and muttering “Fucking disco volante. That was dumb as hell.”

[End scene]

Big news out of Milwaukee was Wilson! became the first team to win while even taking a 15-point deduction for playing with 7 people. They scored 72, but even their post-deduction 57 was enough to top the Milwaukee teams. Tunnel Snakes and Jaws Bon Jovi took home second and third places.  Meanwhile, a slew of new teams showed up. Squad aka Congo Silverbacks, Happy MKE Day and Yahtzee! all hung in until the end while Styphoon & Petrey Dish and Dave’s Julie cut out early, probably out of shame on account of their mild salsa team names.

Madison barely fared better. Internal Revenue Sluts took home the win, which is frankly amazing. We should all be very proud of them and perhaps never speak of this again, as the 64 points they scored may surely be the highlight of their trivia career, and maybe even their whole lives. Let’s not remind of them of the downward path they are on. Second place went to Clever Girl, who sat at the bar and threw down 58 points. I think they might be on to something there. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs took third with 56 points. Not bad for a team of 3 fresh faces and one veteran.

Relative newcomers, The Bob Loblaw Law Blog brought in 50 points, and seem to me moving up in the world. Heisenberg, TWAT, The Neal Variant, and Of Mice & Menstruation all made it to the end. Which is more than I can say for Swayze Murder Claw.

Thanks to everyone who came out, now if you will excuse me, there are 6 weeks’ worth of questions to write this weekend.


  1. David

    I demand our rightful place in the winner’s circle! In return, I will start requesting post-Wagnerian opera, to balance out the pre-Wagnerian opera.

    1. greg

      David, I understand your frustration with you and your Slutty team being left out of the Winners’ Circle. That said, by the time I change it you guys will will be back in the gutters.

      (For real, I work with wordpress nearly every day and I cannot figure out where those fields are hidden.)

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