You Got That Game Day Dread?

Do you feel that? The anticipation rising inside of you? 

You probably woke up today, looked at the clock and thought, “Ugh, that gutter sludge is still our president.” I know that’s how I feel everytime I look at a clock, or Tour de France highlights, or the Punisher sticker on the truck in my neighborhood, (Yes, it’s the same one with a dystopian steampunk smoke stack coming straight up out of the bed and very elaborate die cut sticker on the window claiming “your old lady loves my power stroke” in reference to the truck’s engine) or even these fresh new socks I’m about to put on. That thought is never that far out of my head.

The dread only subsides when I think about trivia each week. Then it’s a whole new set of worries. Will MKE Tunnelsnakes meet their minimum of 36 players needed to play? Was the tip about labor action in the United States enough of a clue to appease the players on Drink Tickets? You think Chicago Tunnelsnakes John is wearing Sambas today? How are Eli and Tamvana holding up during the California heatwave and fires? What about OG Neal of Fortuners? What about Zoe Kazan? Is she okay?

These are all valid concerns. As are any thoughts you might have about Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. And really the best way to alleviate these uncertainties is to get in the game. 

It kicks off at 7pm tonight, as it does every Wednesday. To play simply sign up by following these steps: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between September 10 and September 16. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. Stay safe. See you soon.

Borderland Dispatch

Here’s a fun fact about the team Dreadlocks and No Socks: Tales From La Playa: they’re Torontorians so they don’t own a car. But when they use ZipCar, or whatever the luxury version of Zipcar is, you know the one that only offers Range Rovers, Dreadlock Dave brings his own bumper sticker. It’s not really a sticker but a magnet that looks like a bumper sticker, and he carries Rover to Rover, and as he registers each new whip he slaps his “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Jill Stein” magnet on the back. 

Plus, on long weekends Dreadlocks will just cruise to a lesser used border crossing, like Cornwall-Massena, or Chartierville-Pittsburg if there’s time, back the Range right up the line, and as people walk by getting rejected from entering Canada, DD points at the bumper sticker/magnet and asks, “Can you imagine the horror of a fence that won’t let you through?”

Think what you will of Dreadlocks’ Jill Stein vote, at least he voted. And just last week, once again, that vote mattered. Their vote sent the formerly Anthony Huber GoFundMe money towards Walkin’ In My Shoes, an outreach organization providing assistance to the homeless population in Kenosha. 

Sure, they were the only team that didn’t suggest a cause that placed a vote, but that made their vote matter even more. Just like that Jill Stein vote. 

So if you want to control where the next batch of cash goes, you need to get registered to play.

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between September 10 and September 16. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. Stay safe. See you soon.

All Aboard the Virtual Trivia Train!

Whew, back in action here at the trivia yard. And there is so much to do. But before we get into that I’m just going to wonder out loud how it is that I am the busiest I’ve been in, like 20 years, around Labor Day. We all are, right? That’s how society works. 

Anyway, this week’s trivia train is firing up. Nick’s down there in the bowels of the locomotive shoveling coal as fast as possible into the roaring fire that boils some water and proves I have no understanding of how a steam engine works, Anjali is pulling the cord that makes the ‘“Choo-Choo!” sound and I’m hanging out the side yelling, “all aboard, players!”

Now you might be thinking, “I hate this dumbass metaphor, but I’ll play along. So Greggers, where is this train going?” 

Well, I’m glad you asked. This week we’re making several stops along the route, specifically at Resolution of Past Donations, Belittlement of the Teams That Have Supported Us For So Long and Have Done Nothing to Deserve Such Treatment, a short stop at Socially Distanced Family Station so I can get Dave the shirt I owe him and talk about anime. There is also a rumor we’re picking up some cargo at a History of Labor Action in the United States. And of course, your ride ends at the Wednesday night show. 

So to get your ticket, simply follow these steps: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between September 10 and September 16. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. Stay safe. See you soon.

Trivia in the End Times

Wooohooo! 

Is that how you feign excitement for Trivia week 22 under quarantine? Is that how you pretend this isn’t a trivia show at the end of capitalism as we know it? 

I hope so because we’ve got a hot show coming for you tonight. If you look at the average, and assign it a C grade, you can then look back and see that we’ve rolled out a few stellar shows. There have also been some failures. Trust me, we know failure. 

I mean look at the hundreds of trivia shows that went nowhere and we’re still waiting to get paid for. Trust me, we know failure, I mean look at my CV. Trust me, we know failure, I mean look at my elementary school report card. I got a D in handwriting. A grade three kid getting smacked with a D-grade because…I don’t know…the loops on my cursive Qs were too big. At the same time I got a B in music, even though I have zero rhythm and tend to listen to what people call “not music”. I also got a B in speech. There wasn’t even a speech part of school at that age. I wasn’t up in front of the class giving a 5-minute lesson on rolling dolmas because I thought it would be a funny analog to rolling blunts, but I also discovered these mediterranean treats are as fun to make as they are to eat. I couldn’t pronounce my own parents names until I was 14, and I still speak with a lisp, yet I got an above average speech grade and nearly failed handwriting because I recognized early on that the cursive X was dumb as hell.

Anyway tonight’s show is a solid B-, certainly above average. We’ve got a rocking, or should I say “spooky-rockin”, last place request coming from Clever Girl and five more banger categories. 

Now the other shift in tonight’s show, and proof that I can bury a lede so deep it puts this post’s ass to sleep, is that tonight’s donation is going to a GoFundMe for the partner of Anthony Huber. In that dude’s final act he struck out against hate, racism and oppression, and captured much of the essence of skateboarding. I want every skatepark in the nation named for him, that’s a big ask but tonight we’re doing what we can with a few dollars. 

So to register, it works like this:

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half (up to $200) helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between August 27 and September 2. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. Stay safe. See you in a few hours.

Do It Rockapella

It’s trivia time. You know how to do this, but if you don’t this is how you register for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between August 13 and 19. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.

Trudge Forth

Behold, yo, trivia has awakened!

It rises from the still muck of Trunch Lake in a hot summer and the detritus of a summer league followed by several crowd sourced shows. This horror, this dread, trudges forward, but do not confuse it with your cinematic envisionation. This is not the Nothing, proceeded by Gmork and only stopped by the croon of Lamahl. Nor are you to consider the late twentieth century Smithian Golgathan. Though certainly, this grotesquerie is born of the misery of trivia teams hoping, lifting their eyes one last time to their god, or their ceiling fan, to shout, “Let me win the mug. Please, let me win a mug.” But there are no more mugs. Summer is coming to a close. This is not Yeats‘ Second Coming.

Oh no, players, the inception of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia online was the falcon’s gyre. The introduction to a horror we all felt but never knew was coming. Nick now has a ring light. I have a twitch account. Anjali has taken her suburban throne. The beast has now reached Bethlehem. It arrived on the fetid remains of the once-coporeal horse named Bamboo Harvester. This is now chaos.

Consider that as you prepare for this week’s show. Consider the maelstrom before you think, “what could Greg possibly mean when he says he’s writing a category about examples of royalty in music”. Will that help? Who knows.  But if you want to find out, you need to get to Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia online show this Wednesday night at 7pm.

To get your team registered:

1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.

2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between August 13 and 19. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.

3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.

4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.

No Weeks Off

 

Players, of course there is a trivia show tonight. As Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick likes to yell at me from across the conference rooms, “No weeks off!” 

But there are more pressing issues at hand. Like, for example, I have to go buy a new car, which should be super fun under the thumb of COVID-19. Then, assuming the purchase all goes well I have to call a detective and tell them, “I traded in the evidence for a new one, and IT FUCKING RIPS.” 

We’re lighting the rag that is plugged in a glass bottle half filled with gasoline that is labeled “Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia” tonight at 7pm. And for anyone wondering, it is a one gallon bottle previously used to deliver Thunderbird fortified wine to WHNick’s belly. 

I don’t think you want to be on the wrong end of this one. So get your teams registered:

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between August 6 and 12. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

Crowd Sourced Last Call

Players, the mailbox over here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Center for Gene Modification to Create a Peony/Toxicodendron Hybrid is overflowing. 

You see, part of the job Anjali of Increasing Wisconsin Hardness does here at WHTGHQRE&CFGMTOCPTH is to print off all the emails Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and I receive and put them in an actual physical mailbox shaped like a fish, which I can only assume is a bass, of bass boatery fame. Typically this mailbox is full of emails about important information regarding the warranty on my stolen car or how I can save hundreds of thousands of dollars each month on insurance for my stolen car. 

But this week there are some gems coming in. We’ve got some crowd-sourced Bamboo Harvesters, some questions about sports and one very convincing email from this old man Roger who typically sends me emails intended for a Mahsa Mahots requesting information on the boats seen this week on the Caspian. I’m honestly kind of into those emails. 

Anyway, tonight’s show fires up at 7pm. If you’re hoping to get questions in, please get them to us before then. And don’t forget to register your teams:

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 30 and Aug 5. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.  

It’s Crowd-Sourced Time!

Players, we all should be thankful this week is a crowd-sourced show. We’re going to need it. 

Typically when Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick or Wisconsin’s Hardest I go on an adventure to say, Texas, or New Orleans, or Kenosha we use the inspiration/desolation we find in these places to write a couple categories. Like a real low-key “yeah, I’m a traveller” boast. I’m sure, in time Anjali is going to get in on this, but since she’s been on the team the extent of her travelling has been to Waukesha. And we don’t do Waukesha categories. 

All that said, I spent the last 4 days in Northern Wisconsin riding mountain bikes. Are the CAMBA trails extensive and impressive? Very much so. 

Did I, against the orders of my doctors and everyone who cares about me, jump the bike? Of course. 

Did Keith call me out for it and threaten to take away my bike? Yes

But did I find any inspiration for trivia? No. None at all. Imagine the Birkebeiner Zone category: Question #1: You guys remember like 120 years ago when humans cut down every damn tree in this zone and then planted these scrubby pines and some oaks that other trees laugh at and say, “You’ll never be old growth. Go back to tree school.”?

That one is clearly a yes or no answer, but neither is wrong based on your level of Northern Wisconsin industrial history. 

Question #5 would just be, What was the biggest boat I saw last weekend? I love a good seafaring subject, so this question isn’t even out of line.  And you’re all gonna be clowning on Spoony Bards when they write “Is bass a kind of boat?” But they are going to be correct. Wrap your brains around that one–THE QUESTION IS JUST A QUESTION, BUT THE ANSWER IS ALSO A QUESTION.

That is just not the kind of hassle any of us need this week. So please submit a round of questions to either nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com.

And to register your team follow these steps. 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 30 and Aug 5. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.  

Summer League Ender

Players, let’s get right into it. We’ve got league finals to play tonight. We’ve got prizes to give away, and I still have like 50 Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow questions to write.

Oh, you thought we barely eked out five and tossed them all righty-tighty-lefty-loosey-goosey on slides and called it good? You don’t think we come up with 50-100 a hundred of those bad boys so we can filter out answers like The Lion of Gripsholm Castle Doctrine or any of the 300 hundred clues I pitch to Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick each week that are all somehow connected to the famed Chicago-based doom metal band Bongripper? You are so very wrong. 

And honestly, the clue “Things that saddened my parents to find in my room and things my children will find in my office, which in turn will kind of bum them out” seems too niche even for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. 

Anyway the answer would have “A Jeenyus Snowboards Sticker Stuck to the Top Tube of A Two-Stage Bongripper’s Album Hate Ashbury”.  

Dang, that question sucks. I suspect 80 percent of tonight’s show will be better than that. To register, simply follow these steps. 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 23 and July 29. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

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