Remote Dispatches

Players, I woke up this morning to startling news. It’s news we knew was coming, as evidence of it has been in every Target and Neiman Marcus you walk through. But this morning it really hit home that consumerists and retail giants have successfully eliminated the fall season. We now go from the post Labor-Day tucking of the whites, wherein we used to spend the days swapping out our summer fits for cardigans and moleskin pants or a pleasantly heavier weight twill chino, directly to hanging stockings by the fire with care.

This doesn’t set well at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Exsanguination Station. And when word hit Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Institute of Carpetbaggery and Social Subversion. I nearly jumped right out of the coffin I am currently using as my seasonally themed sleep station when the elderly, who are to read to me my emails each morning, informed me of no less than six emails regarding rising prices and that the best Black Friday shopping starts right now.

Players, You know Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick is an autumnal creature. And you know covered in sweat is not my best look. And even Anjali, who many of you have never met in person, you know Anjali favors a midweight jacket. Dog, you can’t hang an AAAJ pin and carry an empty glass bottle, an old rag and about 12 ounces of gasoline while wearing a lightweight tee. Summertime is about tolerance, but fall is about versatility and readiness.

Plus, we need this season to break out trivia categories on death, dormancy and the coming winter. Or in the case of this week’s show, movie monsters.

So once you get your team together, and you’ve grabbed all your clutch Black Friday finds, get yourselves to Company Brewing in Riverwest for the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia live show.

You won’t be able to get the Bent Stick Brewing Thank You, Next Double IPA, as they are an Alberta-based brewer and the pic comes to us from Bike Ripper and Super Scientist S. Koenig, PhD, who doesn’t even play trivia but lives in Alberta, but you can get so many other delightful libations.

 

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Delta in the Time of Delta

Madison, what’s good?

I’ll tell you what’s good. I’ll tell you what’s going down.

Thursday night. One night only. We’ve got an in-person trivia show. Through friends of friends of friends, we’re knocking out a one time show at Delta Beer Lab on the southside.

Now players…players, think about how many prizes I owe you and your teams. I’m talking about

those old Spoony Bards players, those Team Drink Tickets rippers, the Good Enough sleeper cell, they all have so many things coming their way. Consider Sarina, of Alphabet Mafia. Sarina will be walking out of the place with enough prizes to save the whole Goon Docks.

Now, there are other things to consider, specifically covid-19. Delta Beer Lab is providing us with fully vaxxed staff and large, semi-open space. I’m vaxxed, co-host E.Chun is vaxxed and you know we’re gonna be cheeks deep in masks. All we ask of you is:

  • Get your respected asses vaccinated. If you’re not vaxxed, please stay home and stay safe.
  • Dane County will be back into a mask mandate, so keep that mask up unless you’re eating or drinking.
  • Give everyone, teammates and other teams, the space they need to feel comfortable.
  • If you can’t make it, know that you are still loved and respected by the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia community.

I hope to see as many of you as possible tomorrow night. The show starts at 7pm at Delta Beer Lab on Badger Rd. See you then.

 

Word on the Street

I haven’t been in Milwaukee proper lately but there seems to be a buzz about this week’s show. A friend of mine, probably Mel or Johnnie for the purposes of this story, said they were standing at the end of Wisconsin Ave, looking at the Calatrava’s wings, spread out over the Quadracci Pavilion and the Reiman Bridge, looking majestic as hell. And there were others there, talking about how they were in town for trivia and decided they would also take in this art. They also added, “We thought it would be bigger”.

Anyway, my friend turns to these trivia tourists and says, “I hope you weak-ass trivia tarts aren’t here to play Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia at Company Brewing on Monday Night. Because that show is not for some out of town, weekday warrior chump. Now, week day Wario, that evil MFer is welcome to play anytime. I mean don’t get me wrong, come to Company Brewing. Guzzle down some suds and grab a bite to eat, but don’t think you’re coming onto my turf, talking to my Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick, scoping my questions about the Fast and Furious franchise, or even current events. You really think I’m going to let you walk into my territory, have the most fun you can on a Monday night, and then go home and tell your friends and family about this Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia show…that’s Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Show Monday nights at 7pm at Company Brewing in Riverwest. C’mon blud, you know better. I’ll see you then.”

Anyway, the show starts at 7pm tonight. See you then.

 

Dreamy Trivs

 

This message right here goes out to the true Milwaukee players, the Company Brewing trivia hounds, the dreamers of dreams–the kind of dreams that are often like “we were at Company Brewing, Nick was there but he had a green mohawk like the time he went to the Corn Palace with his family. And Canadian Mel was there, but it wasn’t Canadian Mel it was an animatronic cowboy who would just lift his arm to get a bottle labelled XXX close-ish to the unmoving mouth and then would shout ‘OOOOOO! That’s some good moonshine. Now who’s ready to play some trivia? I hope the cowpokes on my team put some knowledge under them ten gallon hats, ‘specially about Famous Fictional Cowboys.’ So obviously it wasn’t really Mel. but it had a real Mel jeau de vive. Then again, I get that from most animatronics. Jesus, you don’t think Mel’s an animatronic do you?”

Slow it down there, players. I think we lost the plot a little bit right there, but I’m not upset with where it went. I mean most of the needed information was provided. There is a trivia show at Company Brewing tonight. Nick will be there reading out the questions and blasting through the answers. There will be food and drinks and prizes for the top teams. Really the only thing not covered was that the show starts at 7pm.

See you there.

 

Your Week 31 News

Players, let’s take a minute to discuss those scores at Company Brewing last night.

The scores were so good. We’re talking about scores like 29, 31 and 36. Then there were others like 51, 52, and 53. Can you even imagine being on one of those teams? So much pressure to squeeze out just one more point. Or getting to the end of the game and learning that you fell just one or two points short of a truly greater ranking. Maybe you should have tried a little bit harder in that Tulsa category, you know?

And let’s talk about the team that put up 93 points. That is insanity. And of course the team that banged down those points also delivered in the name category. I mean they called themselves “Donte Divincenzooey Deschanel”.

C’mon. No way. Sit down. Aww hell.

Names that good are few and far between. And I have to be extra thankful for that team name because it hopefully softens the blow of the next piece of trivia news.

We’re holding off on the virtual shows for the next few weeks. I’m looking for a safe location for an in-person Madison show, but it’s not working well so far.

As soon as I have a location, the word will go out. There are so many prizes to hand out and so many vaxxed hugs and high-fives to give. We’ll keep you posted regarding the future of shows in Madison, Tulsa and online. But for now, pack ‘em in over at Company Brewing.

 

A NOTE!

Once again Wednesday is upon us. That means it’s the day we all wake up, slide on those trivia pants and pretend any part of the day matters before seven o’clock central standard time tonight.

Now, if you’re an avid reader/true believer/subscriber to the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia mythos you noticed the Monday-night Company Brewing players got no tips, clues or hints on how to tackle this week’s show. That’s because sometimes, I, your dedicated trivia record keeper and clerk, needed to go rub my face in whatever soup one can make from a simmering pot of oil money, Art Deco design and the literal and metaphorical blood of the most prosperous black community in this country’s history.

Speaking of soup and horrible transitions I hope all you players get ready for a whole category on soup this evening. Grab your spoons and get your team in the mix:

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $5/player, or $25/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.

The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

 

Basking in the Glow

Players, this is where we start to see the shortcomings of the in-person shows and, ultimately, the perfection of the virtual shows.

Imagine being a player on a team like Bobby Portishead or Thrillho–one of those teams that banged down 69 points for a top spot tie Monday night at Company Brewing. Noble efforts by both teams for sure. But they were able to soak in their glory stew for like 12 hours. Maybe 24 if they didn’t have to start planning how they were going to move about Milwaukee last night. Then they were immediately upstaged by the World Champion Milwaukee Bucks.

Just think about some sour-ass Thrillho players looking at the nearly 100,000-person celebration going on last night and mumbling, “Big deal, we won trivia on Monday and they didn’t close down any streets for us.”

I don’t even know Thrillho but I can tell you, that team needs to drop the attitude.

Now we roll into the virtual game, where we’ve got teams like Alphabet Mafia and OGNeal of Fortune, playing their guts out for the win. Can you imagine 30 years from now, OGNOF Grampa Gabe telling the young ones about how he watched the Bucks become world champs and then his team stacked up a second win via Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia? So really it’s like being back-to-back champions.

I also suspect he ends that story by making some comment about the Bulls winning several championships and then telling the kids to get outside and play because it’s only 110 degrees and the weather doesn’t get any more perfect than that.

So if you’re on OGNOF and you want to make this a reality, or you’re on any other team and you want to foil Gabe’s future, I suggest getting into the game tonight. To show the world what you’ve got, get your team together and get registered for tonight’s show:

If you want to play tonight’s online game, get your team ready.

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $5/player, or $25/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary.
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then.

 

The Return is Near

Trivia players, we are back full force this week. Much like the mighty Milwaukee Bucks or the Sir Damien Thorn VII of the Corporate Institutional Bank of Time, we came back. We were always coming back.

Typically, there is the tradition that when a trivia host travels somewhere that host is bound to write a category about it. But it’s not going to work that way this week. Certainly anyone who follows the trades knows Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and I, along with fellow Mild Hangover Tuesday co-founder Klipsk, did a practice sprint for our upcoming Cannonball run, but what kind of questions are we going to build out of that?

Did you guys also expect Albuquerque to look worse?
Does this seem like too much rain for the southwest?
What does it cost to get a brake light kill switch installed?
Does Waffle House live up to the hype?

What was the worst part about stopping at the Uranus Fudge Factory in Missouri?  Any answer anyone would provide would probably be right.

These are all questions, but they aren’t Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia questions. Instead we’re coming at you with questions comparing albums and talking about fictional places based on real places. Like the way Oz, from The Wizard of and The Return to, not the HBO series, was based on Seattle. Or the way the Tarkus album cover was based on sketches Anjali of Ever Increasing Hardness kept in her childhood bedroom and had labelled “Cool RV Ideas”.

So if you want to get involved with this whole scene, which I highly recommend doing, you need to build your team and get your collective butts to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

July Times

Yawn and stretch and let out the last bits of the loooooong weekend out, players, because it’s time to take on your weekly dose of Wisconsin’s Hardest Online Trivia. 

I’m sure there are going to be some Milwaukee players tuning into this post, shouting, “Wisconsin’s Hardest Greggers, whereTF was our post? Why did we have to fly into the Monday show blind?”

And these are fair questions, to which I will provide an unfair answer.
“Holiday weekend, baby.”

You know the fifth of July is Michelada Monday. So you know I’m over here rolling in the Tajin Clasíco. I couldn’t be bothered dropping some damned missive to the Milwaukee players about how there’s a Bucks category. You know that should have been top of mind.

I mean, you take a look at any of the online players, check their brain work history and you’re going to find several references to the Milwaukee Bucks. In fact, for many of them it’s only going to Bucks references and something about a thirty-two point three three, repeating, of course, percent chance of survival. 

It’s honestly a great mix of players. 

If you want to play tonight’s online game, get your team ready.

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $5/player, or $25/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then. 

 

The Peloton

In case you missed it, the Company Brewing live shows kicked off again last week and good god was it a success. Players who haven’t been players since they were pre-covid players were playing. Teams were reunited, scores were argued and Das Tunnelsnakes came out on top. 

And here’s what great, this happens every week now. 

Imagine it, every seven days your opinion can be shouted down and ignored by other people on your team. Sure, I know the answer is Ethiopia, but by all means, Young Karen, make the rest of this busted team put Africa as the answer. I can’t think of like 200 better answers than “Africa” to the question “The food of what country is most closely associated with injera flatbread?” 

So maybe it’s time you put together a new team of trivia heavy hitters, refresh your Tour de France knowledge, grab your pint-holding gloves and get your rumps to Company Brewing tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

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