Back on this Bullshit

It sounds like we’ve got another snowy night in store for us tonight, Madison. And there is no better place to beat such foul weather as the basement of the city’s best pizza joint. Imagine, you come in, order pizza and a few drinks from cocktail master, Jake. I fire off a few questions, proving I know nothing of pronunciations of foreign or my native languages. And you have the best Thursday night possible. 

By question 25 things have completely gone off the rails. 90% of the players have given up because Neal of Fortune has already scored 185 points. I’m trying to convince everyone  Françoise Hardy, Counting Crows and Slabdragger are the most important recording artists of the last 50 years. But if you want to talk about artists in general I think we need consider the work of Zaha Hadid, D*Face, Marimekko and Laura Berger. Meanwhile Jake is talking about why Las Vegas sportsbooks making the Chiefs 1.75 points Super Bowl favorites is basically calling the odds even and as far as he’s concerned, so you’re a fool not to take the 49ers with a side bet of at least three Janeane Garafalo references from the announcers. 

That said, we are looking at a thrilling series of questions tonight. Beetles, Neil Peart and Sitcoms of the 80s and 90s. What’s not to love? Get your team together, get ready for a good time and get to Glass Nickel Pizza tonight. The show starts at seven. See you there.  

 

Post Packers Party

Listen up Milwaukee players, pick yourselves up, dust off your retro Packers jersey and get your calendars out. Because it’s time for the whole lot of you to stop talmbout Aaron Rodgers and start counting down the days until the Brewers begin eating truckloads of turds this season. 

Of course, there are better ways to pass your time. You can start by grabbing a couple friends and shuffling off to Company Brewing in Riverwest. You might know Company Brewing as the place you typically go to refill your growlers of ThousandFold stout, but you should also know you can stop in there on Monday nights and join Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia for the best trivia show in the city. Plus, you can get your ThousandFold by the glass. Though I guess you could just buy a growler of it and sip-sip on that bad boy all night.

Now, when I say Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is the best trivia in the city, I actually mean the state. What are your other options? Some fucking joke show on Water Street? Jizzmasters at some Third Ward wine bar? Sitting at home watching Alex Trebek fade away 30 minutes at a time?

Nah man, you get your people, you do a quick brush up on topics no one wants to discuss. Things like Beetles, Sitcoms of the 80s/90s and that dead guy from Rush (the band, not the movie because as far as I know Anton Yelchin wasn’t in Rush. But he was in Green Room and that movie had me shook). Anyway, Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick kicks off the show tonight at 7pm. See you there.

The Big Easy

I know what you’re waiting to hear, Milwaukee trivia players. You want to know if there is trivia show tonight at Company Brewing. Well of course there is. And you might be wondering, is Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick hosting. Well of course he is. 

It’s just another killer night in Riverwest. Nick firing off 50 questions. Pint after pint of Lordy Lordy Hazy IPA splashing into bellies. Nick talking about how he watched Treme, so he gets it. Nick showing off all the beads he got Bourbon Street. Nick bragging about drinking like 30 hurricanes and wrestling a swamp gator. Nick telling you all a New Orleans’ ghost story, but like 30 minutes in you realize he’s just reciting the plot of the 2005 film Skeleton Key, starring Kate Hudson

So yeah, there is a real Big and Easy feeling to the show tonight. Apart from that, Milwaukee players would be keen to know a little something about Full Moons and then something about Corvids.  

All-in-all, it’s going to be a good time. All you have to do is gather up a team and show up at Company Brewing by 7pm. And listen, I’ve been looking at those CoBrew scores lately and I think you should all be rethinking your teams. Sure, it’s fun to hang out with your friends, but some teams are clearly there to win. And, if there is one thing better than beating strangers at pub trivia, it’s beating your friends who you just kicked off your team. Just throwing that idea out there. 

Okay, see you tonight.

 

Endless Wars and Endless Bores

OH DANG, MADISON, ARE YOU READY?
I mean today is a big day. Not only are you required to protest this stupid war with Iran idea at James Madison Park from 4-5:30 by holding signs and urging passing cars to toot thier horns. Because there is nothing like protesting a war spearheaded by our government and the corporations that influence politicians by getting drivers in gas powered cars to make their horns go beep beep while giving a three-second thumbs up to let you know “I’m not part of the problem. I’m with you”.

All this makes the Center For Civil Unrest And Disobedience here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Melange Spice Refinery seem kind of pointless. I mean, what good is a gymnasium full of empty bottles, pre-torn rags and Citgo gift cards if protesting is simply hanging out in the park holding a sign that reads, “Release the Pee Tapes because I’m into it”.

Actually, I think that sign might be one from the CFCU&D at WHTGHQ&MSR archives. 

Regardless, I know Madisonians are busy and there is no better way to end a day than by showing up at Glass Nickel for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. We’re into the final weeks of league play so you know that categories are getting ugly. We’ve got rounds on the 2020 the year in preview, the 2020 Golden Globes and Zodiacs. Plus, there are 35 more questions that are sure to blow your mind. 

Anyone and everyone can join in the fun. All you have to do is get a team together, or play solo if that’s your bag, and be at Glass Nickel tonight. I’ll be there firing off questions while Jake’s firing off food and drink orders. Like always we’ll be in the basement and the show starts at 7pm. See you then.

 

Let the 2020s begin!

Madison players, IT IS TIME! We are 100% ready to kick off 2×20 the right way. The Trivia way. We’re talking about a Milwaukee Bucks category. We’re talking about a Ron Swanson category. We are talking about a category on Z Nation

I don’t even know what Z Nation is, but we’ve got a category on it. Not that anyone should be surprised by such a move. We’ve had entire categories on Barack HUSSEIN Obama I have no clue what song that dude sings. And I know waaaaay too much about True Blood and we’ve only had like two categories on that magnificent show. 

Anyway, trivia is on tonight. We’ll be in the basement of Glass Nickel Pizza. There will be food and drinks for all. Jake will be there. I suspect Neal of Fortune will be there. Maybe I’ll tell you a story about the insanity that is my family during the christian holiday of Christmas. All you have to do is get your team together and get to the basement by 7pm. See you there.

 

The Season Enders Start Now

I hope you y’all came to party. 

I mean, it’s Thursday and that means trivia at Glass Nickel Pizza is on.

As my neighbor would say, “It’s on like this homemade bong. You expected me to make it from an apple, but I’m actually using a potato. I’ve found the starchier texture to make a more structurally secure weed ripper. I’ve also reinforced the bowl zone with this foil wrapper from a Cadbury Creme Egg I found waaaaay in the back of the fridge.”  

Then, he would take a big pull off it and say, “You know, they’re called the ‘apples of the Earth.”

Anyway, if you’re looking to have a good time tonight you know it needs to include Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. This is our last Madison show of the year and that means it’s all about 2019 in review. Will we be talking about 2019 in fashion? Of course. What about cancelled TV shows? For sure. And you know there will be a year in books category. 

I mean, this is really the most important show of the year. Assuming I don’t put myself into another coma or land myself in the ER again, I’ll even be there. The show starts at 7pm, we’ll be in the basement. 

See you there.

 

No Rest For The Wicked

The scene opens on a large, opulent estate. The quiet is unsettling. Dry leaves blow through open windows. A mouse, nibbling the crust of half-eaten bread on the table in the Hall of Feasts, retreats at the sound of the door bursting open.

[NICK enters the room, dressed head-to-toe in blaze orange]

NICK, to himself: Well I don’t know what I expected.

He drops his gear in the entryway and heads upstairs, checking for signs of life. Greg‘s study is empty. Even the gold-plated couch is covered in dust. It’s a bit a of surprise, given the state of the yard. Though the house is unkempt, the grounds are immaculately groomed and ready for this week’s guests. Lewis, the man who writes Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg’s questions, has been hard at work keeping up his end of the bargain.

Nick makes his way to his suites. On his way, he passes the iron gate that marks the stairs to the tower of the Rap Emporium. Bits of a dry, bready mixture and the shattered remains of a fine china dinner plate litter the floor. It would seen Greg didn’t like the meal Nick sent up the Friday prior.

NICK, yelling to GREG, unseen but surely still atop the tower awaiting another Blackstar album: Look, man, Quorn was all they had! What do you want, linguine with artichokes? What am I, some kind of hospital cafeteria?!?

Nick finally reaches his rooms, unlocks the door, and heads to shower. He fucken needs it, body and mind. Three days in the woods and not a deer to be seen. It’s his only source of red meat for the year; hopefully next weekend will be more fruitful.

Clean, but tired, Nick turns to getting the place in order. He sets tables meant for the week’s guests: white linen, polished silver, porcelain beer steins. He’s not going to bother with plates this time; everyone just wants to drink anyway. Three placards are placed at each table to mark the party’s themes: Musicals, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and It’s (Allegedly) Deer Season.

The trivia fam at Company Brewing are coming tonight at 7:00. Tuesday, the cretins who call the Up & Under home will scurry in. Wednesday to steam clean after those mongrels, then Thanksgiving. No party for Jake’s Marauders aka the Glass Nickel Pizza crew aka We Complain About Needing A Last Name On A Question Where Nick Very Clearly Said First And Last Name Scooter Club. They’ll have to wait for next week.

Home Alone: Trunch Lake Edition

Wanted a bit of time to myself the other day so I sent the help home (or wherever they go; I have no idea), checked out the 100-item legal limit of cookbooks from the public library, and settled in by the fire to read. Three days later, I emerged ready to get to work in the kitchen only to find that Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, the man who taught Moses a thing or two about parting water had gone off to egg the neighbors again and Greg locked atop the Rap Emporium vowing not to come down until we get another Blackstar album.

Met with dishes piling up, dust everywhere, and four clogged toilets (what were you three DOING), I  had but one choice. Put my head down and get to work ignore it all. I spent three days researching this recipe and I have a blog post to write.

 

  1. Stir 2t ground Dinosaurs and 4 cloves garlic, chopped, into ground mushrooms
  2. Heat mixture on medium until aroma is released and mushrooms are golden in color
  3. Stir in 1c Wisconsin in Film and Television
  4. Bring to boil, then lower and simmer for 15-20 minutes
  5. Add milk to taste and remove from heat
  6. Grease a bread pan and coat with grated Lord of the Rings.
  7. Form mixture into a loaf shape and press into coated pan. Chill in the fridge overnight.
  8. Slice, serve, and enjoy.

 

The patrons of Company Brewing can get their fix tonight. Fans of the trivia tripe loaf over at Up & Under will have to wait until Tuesday, and Madison gets whatever crumbs are left Thursday night at Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood.

Tuesdays, To the Max!

What up what up, players!

I understand many of you may have been thinking, “Oh Greggers, he doesn’t give a fuck about the Tuesday night show. Oh Greggers, he was out in those streets talking about how the Up & Under show kicks dogs.” 

But disregard all of that. In the parlance of 2004, “Fuck what you heard.”
Tuesdays at the Up & Under are firing. The league play there is well underway. Trivia Newton John is riding that domination train. Tossing coal into the locomotive as fast as they possibly can, like a misremembered tall tale about John Henry. But Shiva Conglomeration is still fighting. Then there are the others Techno Tigers, Who Pooped in the Pool, and Wet Dreamcast, as well as a handful of additional teams. 

Personally, I’m not counting anyone out. Any team could show up tonight and high jack the aforementioned Domination Choo-Choo. All you need to do is get to the Up & Under on Brady street tonight. Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, a man who claims to have started the California wildfires with his FKA Twigs hot takes, will be coming at you with 50 of the hardest trivia questions the Cream City has ever heard/read. 

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Singles Day

It’s singles day y’all!

That’s well and good for anyone looking to score sweet deals on Ultra Light Down jackets from Uniqlo, but revelling in your exclusivity is no way to operate a winning trivia team. Sure, a solitary player will probably beat a team like Tunnelsnakes and may even come up with a win once in a great while, but for sustained dominance you’re going to want to put a team together. 

It is simply unlikely someone playing solo tonight at Company Brewing is going to be able to flex the mental muscle needed to dominate categories like Apple Cultivars and Varietals, Madden Cover Athletes or Children’s Movie Soundtracks

To truly be effective, you need to put together a crew, a solid four to six players with a vast berth of rather useless knowledge. It would be even better if you could build a team similar to the passengers of the SS Minnow. You’re going to need a scientist who you call professor and a captain packed with practical knowledge who you call Skipper. Then you’ll want someone with gob cap and blotter tabs, a couple of out-of-touch, privileged white folks to bankroll the team, a youthful midwestern who shows up crop-topped and snackable and finally a seemingly vapid superstar who turns out to be the ringer and is good with a coconut radio. 

I would say I’m ready to film any of those roles, except that I’ve already seen the questions and answers. 

Anyway, once you’ve put your team together, you’re all going to want to get to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. As always, there will be food and drinks. And you know Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick has 50 questions that are sure to please. It’s a round of trivia you don’t want to miss. And if it makes you feel better, you can still get that smoking deal on those ULDs from Uniqlo. Shit, dog, you could get them for your whole team. 

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you there.

 

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