Trivia is Back-ack-ack-ack-ack

 

Like all of us, this time of quarantine has got me alternating between reflecting and burying my thoughts, feelings and fears by placing side bets while watching MFers play the NES version of Tecmo Bowl on Twitch streams. It turns out the Colts were not a strong team in that era and that Paypal will flag your account if you try to send one random person several stacks over several transactions in one two-hour window. 

That’s not even the real regret. People should know that during the last trivia show held by Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia–the last trivia show I hosted–I wasted the first hour playing a Billy Joel’s greatest hits mix, simply to see how long it would take for Spoony David to complain. 

This also prompted Good Enough to pose the timeless question, “What are the top three Joels?”  

And not that it matters, but the correct answers are Number three: a 14-minute live version of Goodnight Saigon into In the Middle of the Night from an 2004 impromptu live show at the Chowder House in Montauk. Number two is The Downeaster “Alexa”. Number one is probably something shitty like Movin’ Out.

All of that aside, Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick hosted a virtual trivia show a few days ago that was incredible. So you better believe we’re going to do it again. And maybe even better. We’re talking about maybe the biggest show we’ve ever held. 

We’re going to work out the exacts over the next few days, but mark your calendars for this: Wednesday night, April 1. 7pm central time. I specify central time because I’m talking to you Poughkeepsie Players, Bothell Big Shots, Minneapolis Maniacs, Wyoming Wild Ones and Bay Area Baddies. 

Wednesday 7pm. Wisconsin’s Hardest Virtual Trivia. Don’t miss out.

 

More Social Fist-ancing. Because I’m ready to fight.

Milwaukee Players,
In case you haven’t heard, there will be no trivia tonight.
 
Company Brewing is closed for the time being, and it’s probably a pretty good idea for you to spend some time not around other people.
 
Maybe go that extra mile with social distancing and stop talking to your families and loved ones. Let’s be honest, this is a big opportunity for all of us to shed some emotional weight.
 
It’s a bummer there is no trivia tonight. Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick kind of likes the lot of you and we’d prefer if you stayed healthy so we can kick this off again in a few weeks.
 
Until then we’ll figure out something with which to pass the time.

Trivia Love in the time of Corona

Madison, you gotta ask yourself, “if I don’t win trivia tonight, who will?”

Now let’s be honest. Neal of Fortune is going to win. They always have won. They always will win. But maybe you and your team can take second place. That would be really cool. 

Anyway, trivia is a weird as thing to be hyping right now. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it is a chaotic time. Sarah Palin was the Masked Singer, the release of Fast 9 has been pushed to 2021 and at a campaign rally in Michigan, Joe Biden told a factory worker he was going to come to his house and eat his whole asshole so mommy can watch. I don’t even know who doing the eating in that statement, nor am I sure whose mommy is watching. Nonetheless, trivia is on tonight at Glass Nickel

I’ll be there, ready to sling 50 questions your way. Tonight we’ll be focusing on the card game Sheepshead, the collected works of Ludacris and International Women’s Day. So if these seem like you kind of categories, and you don’t mind sitting in a basement with a crew of people who do spend a fair amount of time traveling and working with people in the medical professions, I suggest you get your rump to Glass Nickel on Atwood

Jake will be there running pizzas, pasta and pathetic jokes. There will also be plenty of Third Space beers to be had. My only real advice is to bring your own pen, or whatever. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Still Leaping!

Leap year day week rolls on!

I’m unsure how the rest of the Madison players are spending their holiday week, I assume we’ve all been out in these streets crushing King Cakes and going to that catholic church service where they rub ashes on your head and say “Look what you’ve done now. Are you happy with this whole situation?” 

I, on the other hand, have spent the better part of the week trying to figure out how bad of an idea a white hat is. A lot of players probably don’t remember this about me, but from the time I was four until I was ten-ish I wore a Gilligan-esque, naval gob hat. And since then I’ve spent thousands of dollars and thousands of hours trying to find a hat as perfect.

Sure, I could just buy a new gob hat, but do you know the anxiety that comes with buying a white hat? I’ve worn enough white shirts in to know I’ve only got about eight minutes with a clean shirt on. Once, I was traveling to a wedding and spilled coffee and barbecue sauce on a shirt at the same time. You could put that on me for stopping at an Arby’s on the way, but that doesn’t justify the dude who jumped from the kitchen and stabbed me, thus giving my shirt a third stain strain.

Now just imagine me wearing a white hat. That thing would be covered in coffee, barbecue sauce and blood in no time. 

All that said, I’ll probably show up tonight wearing a grey knit cap–a beanie, or toque, if you prefer. If you want to see it in person, get to Glass Nickel Pizza tonight. You know there will be plenty of food and beers, all you have to do is be there. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

 

Leap Year Day Week

Check this update. Now check your calendar. Now check this update again. And back to the calendar. And now back to this update. 

I suspect most of you are sitting at your computers and thinking, “Damn, doggie. It’s leap year time. You know those ice cold MFers at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia are going to be real crazy this week.” 

And you’re partially correct. Will I, as I do every leap year, go out and spray paint penises on billboards around town that feature bank employees or models hired to be bank employees for a day? Of course. 

And will Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick again get hella stoned then call me talking about how we should skip leap year day and just give everyone a few extra hours each year. Because, as he says, “Blud, imagine if you could just get like six extra hours of sleep tonight. That’s way better than needing to remember to adjust the date dial on your Timex. Or what are you wearing, an Armitron? A Casio?” 

But before we get to any of that, we’ve got a full week of trivia to get through and it starts tonight at Company Brewing. Nick will be coming at you with a full rack of 50 questions. You know he’s got a category on the TV show Outlander. Then he’ll also tell you a little something about Geena Davis. And in giving the people exactly what they want, we’ve got a category on bees

Y’all remember bees, right?

For the sake of your trivia scores, I hope so. The show pops off tonight at Company Brewing in Riverwest. So get your team together and head on over. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

It’s Go Time in Madison

Time is running out around Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. The Madison players only have a few short hours to gather a team and get to Glass Nickel Pizza for tonight’s show. And then once they get there, they’ve got maybe 120 minutes before Neal of Fortune crushes their trivia hopes and dreams. 

I don’t know how to stump that team. I once thought I was bringing heat with a category called Bars Me and Some Dude Named Bryce Opted Not to Go In Because They Didn’t Look Hard Drug-sy Enough While Riding a Pedicab Through Denver. And that whole team looked me directly in the eye and someone, probably Eddie, was like “we’ll double this, but your five-point answer better not be Shag Lounge because I’m pretty sure that place runs on nose beers”. 

At this point, I just have to remind myself to take joy in the fleeting moments when they get an answer incorrect.

I guess what I’m getting at is that we’re now hosting trivia shows to see who can finish in second place. So come on down and test your luck at Glass Nickel Pizza tonight. As always we’ll be in the basement and the show starts at 7pm. See you there. Additionally, time is running out to order your 2020 TPIODITMOSL tee. So if you want one, slide $25 in the direction of paypal.me/SlashGreg and get ready to answer so many questions from passer-bys.

Up and Up and Up and Under

Listen up players and potential trivia heads, the Company Brewing crew kicked off what could be a pretty killer week of trivia last night. Armadildos took the top spot which is great news. And the Ol’ Teacher-ound grabbed second place, but I suspect they can do better. Tunnelsnakes grabbed third which is about right for that team. 

 

Tonight, we push the 50-question boulder up the hill to Up & Under where Lewis and Andy are ready to test the intellect of their crowd. Will a team at the U&U show break the 100-point barrier? Only time is going to tell, and those who show up to play are going to be the first to know. 

 

So get your team together and slide in to Up & Under on Brady St. The show starts at 7pm. See you then. 

AAAND if you’re looking for something to do to pass the time, I suggest grabbing one of these Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tees. It’s for real the best Damien Hirst rip you can get for $25. Just drop some cash in the link: paypal.me/SlashGreg    

The WHT Cash Grab

Brace yourselves, players, because it’s a big day around here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Vapable Kale Extractory. Yer boy Greggers is allowed to drive again. That means, any time you cruise by the office today you can catch me slow-rolling up and down the street, steering with my knees and blasting green, megaton clouds of that sweet sweet kale juice.

I should also recommend you cop one of the super rad, 2020 TPIODITMOSL tees. You can think what you want about Hirst, but one cannot deny those tees are comfortable and short sleeved. So pick your size, slide about $25 towards paypal.me/SlashGreg and get ready to look fresh. Now let’s say you’re a real loose money momma or trunch cash daddy. That’s cool. You can just pay your trivia host at one of the shows. 

Shall we get to the show info? Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick is ready to take the Milwaukee Players for a ride tonight. He’s got a very classy category on urban parks, and then an even classier category about the mountain ranges of North America. And since we’re pushing these new shark shirts so hard, we’ve also got a category on Damien Hirst’s works not titled The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. 

OOOO DOGGIE, once you’ve brought that heart rate back down, you’re going to want to get your team together and slide on down totonight. While there, have a bite to eat and maybe a bunch of beers. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

 

It’s like Jaws 2 around here

Big things happening here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. But I’m not talking about Trivia Newton John’s win at Up & Under on Tuesday. This isn’t about Scrambled Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch’s top place finish at Company Brewing, nor the appearance of a team named Daffidildo. And I am certainly not talking about the crowd-sourced show in Madison this week–a show that only has two categories submitted as of right now. 

I’m talking about the next round of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tees. 

This bad boy is a spin off the first shirt we ever made. The year was 2014. Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick was clean shaven and owned zero Gatecreeper albums, and I was living LDR– and TBI-free. But now the shirts are back, with a slight update, on always comfortable, always cool black tees. 

We’ll be taking pre-orders on these heaters until February 21. The shirts are $25 each and printed by the crew at The Shop in Madison. To get yours, talk to the host at your show or simply send the money via paypal to me at paypal.me/SlashGreg and I’ll send these things anywhere. 

So get those wallets out and get with the cool kids.

 

 

Oscars Buzz

Milwaukee, now is the time. It’s time to start brushing off your Company Brewing “Buy 1000 pints and your 1001st is Free” punch cards and get ready for some trivia. This is not some ho-hum, whatever-works round of trivia.

No no. Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick stayed up late watching the Oscars to deliver all the important info in the form of trivia questions tonight. And as far as I’m concerned, to tweet 30 too many times about Timothee Chalumet’s tracksuit. I mean, if it was good enough for the lead singer of Korn to wear throughout the 1990s why can’t a young actor, who is certainly on Hollywood’s hot list, come out with the same look. Give the kid a break, Nick.

So now you know there will be an Oscars category, making this the right time for me to tell you there will also be a category all about the history of the Slam Dunk Contest. And don’t you dare come at me for this category and my recent pro-NBA status. Had I written this category every answer would have been Montrezl Harrell who was never even in the Dunk Contest. But that is not the case.

So now I’ve told you about the Oscars category, the Dunk Contest round and the CoBrew 1000-punch card. One of those is a lie.

But you know what isn’t a lie? A whole damn category on Children’s Literature. And I’m talking about stories for children, not stories about children. Creeps.

All of that is coming at you tonight in the form of 50 questions at Company Brewing. All you have to do is be there. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

SIDE NOTE: Madison, we have a crowd-sourced show this week so send your categories/questions to me at greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com.

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