Black Magic

October is fully ON here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Petroleum Dumping Station. I was prepared to come on here and tell all about the excitement of the second annual WHT Camping and Fabric Dampening Excursion. I was going to tell you about the questionable wood purchase from a grown man named Scotty. Or how Rousseau the dog is the chillest mammajamma ever. Or how Leslie locked eyes with Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and then drove his VW Superpolluter directly into quicksand. Or how REI was rad enough to provide all the supplies needed for the weekend in exchange for 10-15% of the camping party’s collective income.

But, then I get home and roll through the IGs long enough to discover the staff over at Company Brewing is diving deep into black magic. Those MFers have an altar dedicated to Aaron Rodgers. I’m talking candles, gifts of mini pours, a torn and spit-upon photo of Olivia Munn,  a vile of Reggie White’s blood that was taken as he renounced his reverend status and embraced the light-bringer on his deathbed, and then a bunch of bones from an order of chicken wings. It’s some real Sunday goth shit.

Sometime after I learned of the existence of the altar, I also learned the Packers defeated their opponents, the Dallas Cowboy. So I’m convinced the CoBrew crew knows what they are doing in the realm of dark arts. Given this information, I really think you need to pay attention when I say get to Company Brewing in Riverwest for trivia tonight. There will be categories about State Capitals, Educational Children’s Programming of the 80s and 90s, and something about G.L.O.W. 

I can only assume that if you don’t go, an owl will rip your grandma’s eyes out. So get your team together and get yourself to Company Brewing tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

The Good, The Bad and The Weird

Big Thursday for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia at Glass Nickel. We’ve got good news, bad news weird news. 

Let’s start with the good news. This is a crowd-sourced show. That means we won’t be slogging through the same tired show that seemed so fresh earlier in the week. No no. We’ve got some real top-notch categories getting shot from the trivia cannon tonight. I mean, if the trivia show WAS a cannon, and each trivia question a cannonball, the players would be that topless, black-and-white thicc daddy wearing steampunk goggles who takes the shot in the belly, preferably in slow motion so we can we soak up the look on his face and the way his belly ripples like the water of beautiful Trunch Lake as I skip a stone across the surface, the way I do each morning. 

The bad news is I’m still waiting for categories from a couple teams. Good Enough, I’m talking to you. I’m also talking to you Clever Girl. I’m also talking to you Beelzabubbalicious or any other team that might show up tonight. Just drop those quezzies on me, greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com. Do it now. 

In weird news, I’ve been informed by the Dodge County Parks officials that the campsites we requested for the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia 2nd Annual Weekend in the Woods and Backyard Wrestling Extravaganza are currently flooded. This is a problem because even though Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick is playing it all cool like, “Shit, dog, I sleep in a hammock. Mother Nature can’t flood air,” I know most of use were counting on using tents. 

Therefore, the camping trip has been relocated to Ledge County Park near Horicon. It’s a slightly further drive for the Madisonians, but the park is on higher ground. We’re still planning on a Friday-Sunday excursion and everyone is still welcome. But again, you need to let me or WHNick know you’re coming. 

That’s all I’ve got for now. The show at Glass Nickel starts tonight at 7pm. See you there.

 

What a Week!

Trivia fever is alive and well this week. People across the globe are super-hyped for the 2nd annual trivia camping trip to Astico County Park. It’s that one weekend of every year when Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and I load up our trusty mobile trivia operation, pack the rig with with meats and fake meats, firewood and good times, and head to a place that is just far enough away from an urban center to support the claim of getting away. 

I’m excited to see what the numbers of the CoBrew delegation look like after tonight’s show. I imagine 70% of the players are going to make the journey to the park this week. And those that don’t will be stuck in the city, with the other simps, mumbling about how this place is over and all the cool people left town.   

So don’t be a mumbly, lame simpleton. When you see Nick tonight, you look directly into his dead eyes and you say, “I’m coming to Astico Park. I am ready for games and food cooked over a fire. Here is my payment of $10 per person, per night. Additionally, I will fuck you up in a bocce match.

Then, you’re going to want to settle in for a night of 50 questions and the usual Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia rigamarole. This week we’re covering things like Coins and Gillian Anderson and somehow, someone let The Simpsons out of the trivia tomb, so there’s a Simpsons category. It all starts tonight at 7pm atin Riverwest. See you there. 

And for those Madison players, remember to get your crowd-sourced categories to me for this week’s show. 

 

The End We All Saw Coming

While so many of you were watching the Packers get worked over by the Philadephia Eagles and a costco sized pack of D-batteries, Neal of Fortune was at the Glass Nickel taking home yet another league championship. I should also mention that while NOF was training for trivia, I studied the blade. But that is something completely different. 

It’’s entirely possible you’re thinking, “Neal of Fortune? They win every goddamned time, right?”

And yes, they do. But this is not the Neal of Fortune you know. About a year ago SNeal began to fundamentally change the team. It started with the claim Caitlin was moving Minneapolis. But I suspect SNeal dressed her as Otis Redding, put her in a plane and crashed the flight into Lake Monona. Next, came the claim the Alex and Gabe were moving to California. And apparently to SNeal “moving to California” means dressing them both like Otis Redding, putting them in a plane and crashing the flight into Lake Monona. Next it was Zalchk, who was dressed like Otis Redding, put into a plane and crashed into Lake Monona. 

But here’s the thing, Zermk is a smart dude, he saw what was coming and as soon as he boarded the plane, he changed into a Travis Barker outfit. Then, when the flight went down he swam to shore, and moved to Minneapolis

Finally it Kathleen and Travis, who claimed to be moving to Upstate New York. Again Sneal lured them into one of what he calls “his crashing planes”. As a little twist this time had both soon-to-be-former NOF players dress as John Denver, because, he said, “you know, Travis…colorado…rocky mountain high”. Then he mimicked a smoking motion with his index finger and thumb, the way my neighbor does because he has yet to get on board with vape pens. Then he crashed that plane into Brittingham Bay, a variation on technique intended to show respect to ol’ Johnny Denz. 

Since then, SNeal has rebuilt the team with an even deadlier cast of trivia killers. We’ve got Devon and Elizabeth, who seem alright. Some tall man who understands my need for Sparks. Some other lady with glasses, a quiet blond man and Distant Eddie, who I think would stab me just to watch me bleed out. 

Anyway, they won. Spoony Bards nabbed second, Drink Tickets went third. Then with was Good Enough, Clever Girl, Dern, TV dogs and a handful of other teams. 

We’ll be back at it next week at Company Brewing on Monday night and Up & Under on Tuesday. We’ve got the Crowd Sourced show at Glass Nickel on Thursday and finally the second annual trivia camping extravaganza atOctober 4-6. 

See you next week.

 

It’s Trivia Camping Season, Ya Bums!

Hot on the heels of a fantastic showing by the Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow Ragnar success, now seems like the right time to announce the second annual Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia camping trip to Astico County Park. It’s going down next weekend, October 4-6

We’re looking to build on the all action we saw last year. Just imagine a weekend of Kyle and Kirsti winning a bunch of money playing dice, Kirsti and Kyle winning a game of bocce, Kyle and Kirsti winning more money in another massive game of dice, then the two of them winning an exciting game of night bocce, and finally another game of dice in which all of the money was won by Kyle and Kirsti. Such a good time. 

Even though no one else could claim victory over the weekend, I think a good time was had by all. There was even an accidental midnight fall-in-the-river session.  Perhaps it’s a good idea that this year we’ve moved away from the river.

Just like last year, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is going to provide food, drinks and games for the whole weekend. All we’re asking you to bring is your camping gear. Just the basics–a tent, sleeping bag and a camping chair. You may also want to bring a handful of singles for dice game and stupid wagers. 

We’re also asking for $10 per person per night. This will help us offset some of the cost of firewood and prevent us from launching 30 pounds of bacon into the river. Which we had to do at the end of the weekend last year. 

Pretty much anyone who plays trivia is welcome, but you need to let the host of your show know you’re coming. You can pay your host, or paypal that scratch to paypal.me/SlashGreg. Basically what just let us know you’re coming.

We’re still here

“Well, well, well if it’s not ol’ trivia poster Greggers sliding into the timeline like the MF hasn’t been MI-the fuckin’-A for a week.”

And that’s a fair assessment. I’ve had some things to handle. We had to take the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia running team to its first ever contest. Did we place 110 out of 236 teams overall? Well, yeah. And did we also place 92 out of 197 mixed division teams? Again, yes.

Sure, we had some things stacked against us. The team captain for one. The dude in the tent next to us who just flew in from London on Tuesday and used his jet-laggery to bring down our talk about 9-11 truthers, Tom Delonge’s aliens, various apple cultivars and Dong Sheldon was another. But for a first showing, the WHT team kind of killed it. 

But all that is behind us. We need to focus on today. That means all you Milwaukee players need to start polishing your trivia shoes and get ready for tonight’s showdown at Up & Under

If you’re new to the Up & Under show, you’re going to want to know that yer boys Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, a man who opted to sit out the Global Climate Strike because of the weather, are coming at you with 50 solid question. Of course there will always be the standards–Current Events, WTF and Wild Card. But, you can also expect categories like The Rare and Endangered Fauna of Wisconsin, WWII Conspiracy Theories and Know Your Magrittes

Damn, that sounds like a really solid evening. If you want to get in on it all you have to do is be at the Up & Under on Brady Street tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.  

 

CoBrew League Ender

And just like that the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia crowd at Company Brewing has wrapped up their summer league. There are many things to note–the strong showing from Farts Anonymous, the league domination and win from Scrambled Eggs, the nonstop hilarity of Wisconsin’s Trivia Sharted–that came out of this league. But when you have that much good, there’s bound to be some bad as well. Tunnelsnakes, for example.

Tunnelsnakes spends most of their non-trivia time outside a liquor store offering to buy kids beer, and after the kids give them a few bucks they take the money and split. Tunnelsnakes is also the kind of team that is more than happy to buy cigarettes for kids. Tunnelsnakes is the kind of team that microwaves yesterday’s coffee for 20 seconds before serving it to you. Fucking Tunnelsnakes still wears a Halliburton tee shirt and claims it’s ironic. Tunnelsnakes gives savings bonds as a wedding present. Tunnelsnakes once got together as a team and all peed in a cookie sheet, then froze that gross amalgam in order to later slide it under a door, so when urine ice sheet melts BOOM! puddle of piss of someone’s floor. Now, you might be saying, “Greggers, thats a dumb college dorm prank.” But check this shit, naysayers, Tunnelsnakes did it in a nursing home, to their own grandmother.

Anyway, Tunnelsnakes got third place. 

If you need a palate cleanser following the trash of that whole ordeal, I suggest getting your rump to on Brady Street tonight. Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg, and Lewis, a man who spent three semesters teaching Astronomy 614: I Love My Curvy Space Wife and referring to all mentions of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge as a Dennis Rodman Hole, will be there to toss out the questions. The show starts at 7pm. See you there. 

 

GTFO Summer

And just like that summer is over. Everything has to go as we start making room for fall questions. No more fucking around with white pants categories. That sweet, sweet, pumpkin spice smell in the air. The kind of questions you need a light jacket for. It really is my favorite trivia season. 

But first we need to start wrapping up those late summer leagues. And who better to do it than the players at Up & Under on Brady Street. I assume Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg is ready. And Morty Lew stays ready. And if any teams roll in with deep knowledge on hot topics like Phobias, Horses in Popular Culture and Snacks, they are certainly going to kick down a couple doors and take home a win. 

This week is so good. The only complaint I have is the lack of questions about nanaimo bars in the snacks category. To the players who will say “nanaimo bars would be under the deserts category, idiot”, I suggest you open your mind. I don’t know what kind of weird, puritanical household you grew up in, but in this house (Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Online Content Chop Shop) we don’t recognize your outdated food taxonomy. I made some nanaimo bars yesterday as part of my annual coast-to-coast celebration of of foods. We had vegan lobster rolls from Nova Scotia, poutine representing the street trash on Montreal, some timbits from Toronto, canola oil shooters from Saskatchewan and nanaimo bars from Nanaimo. And you better believe I was crushing nanaimos before, during and after the meal. 

I guess what I’m saying is, don’t let society tell you when and where you can eat a delicious treat. But also, don’t show up unprepared to trivia and think you can walk away with first place. 

So once you’ve done your studies, practiced with the blade and gathered a team, get yourself down to Up & Under on Brady Street tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Putting the Fire Inspector on High Alert

Company Brewing has got its work cut out for it tonight. First off, can the players possibly stack more than 71 people in the joint. That’s how many showed up last weekend. 71. That’s massive. And what about the CoBrewCrew, are they ready for another crowd like that tonight? That’s a lot of Space Whistle mosaic IPA to be pouring. And finally, is Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick able to handle a crowd that big? Does he have an intern who is there to help him? 

 

These are all questions that will be answered tonight with certainty. There are also 50 questions that will possibly be answered with various levels of certainty. But what else can we expect when we roll out questions on categories like 2019 NFL Starting Quarterbacks, Singapore and Building Materials

 

Having typed the words above, I have to be honest, I’m so happy the CoBrewCrew and Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick will be there tonight. I assume no one is coming for questions about Singapore or NFL Quarterbacks. Sure, we all know Singapore is where passion and possibilities meet. And what more is there to know about quarterbacks? It’s all touchies, audibles and fifth downs. But that Building Materials category, that one is a gem. I haven’t read those questions yet, but I assume every answer is wood. Or maybe Lincoln Logs

 

Anyway, we’ve got room for at least 75 at in the house tonight. If you’re ready to play, all you have to do is get your team together and show up at Company Brewing in Riverwest. The questions will be rapid fire, the competition will be intense and the beers will be cold. See you there. The show starts at seven, but I suggest getting there earlier. See you then.

 

Your Week 34 Preview

 

Summer leagues roll on! 

Tonight the crowd at Company Brewing gets to flash their worth. We’ll get to see how many more points Scrambled Eggs can stack on their 82-point, league-leading total. Or, perhaps Farts Anonymous will add enough to their 72 to close the gap. We’re getting down to the wire folks. Who will it be? 

Of course there is always Tunnelsnakes, who have 61 points and aren’t mathematically eliminated yet, but honestly, I wrote them off years ago. I don’t even know Soviets Can Wash In Dirt, Sir, but I like the 50 points they’re putting up. Then, there are others like Unidirectional Unicycle, Big Money.., and the Gentrifiers of Catan who are probably muttering things like, “it’s an honor just to play” and “Fuck this whole show”. 

But first, all those teams need to make it through tonight’s rounds. They’ll need to prove what they know about things like Household Chemicals, The Life and Works of Toni Morrison, and the film Easy Rider

The show is open to anyone, all you need to do is get a team together, or play solo if you think you’re a trivia heavy hitter, and get to Company Brewing in Riverwest. Once you’re there, you’ll want to order a Thousandfold imperial stout or, if you’re like me, a Cer.Voces dark mexican lager, and get ready for Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick to drop those 50 hot ones. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

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