Crowd Sourced Last Call

Players, the mailbox over here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Center for Gene Modification to Create a Peony/Toxicodendron Hybrid is overflowing. 

You see, part of the job Anjali of Increasing Wisconsin Hardness does here at WHTGHQRE&CFGMTOCPTH is to print off all the emails Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and I receive and put them in an actual physical mailbox shaped like a fish, which I can only assume is a bass, of bass boatery fame. Typically this mailbox is full of emails about important information regarding the warranty on my stolen car or how I can save hundreds of thousands of dollars each month on insurance for my stolen car. 

But this week there are some gems coming in. We’ve got some crowd-sourced Bamboo Harvesters, some questions about sports and one very convincing email from this old man Roger who typically sends me emails intended for a Mahsa Mahots requesting information on the boats seen this week on the Caspian. I’m honestly kind of into those emails. 

Anyway, tonight’s show fires up at 7pm. If you’re hoping to get questions in, please get them to us before then. And don’t forget to register your teams:

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 30 and Aug 5. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.  

It’s Crowd-Sourced Time!

Players, we all should be thankful this week is a crowd-sourced show. We’re going to need it. 

Typically when Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick or Wisconsin’s Hardest I go on an adventure to say, Texas, or New Orleans, or Kenosha we use the inspiration/desolation we find in these places to write a couple categories. Like a real low-key “yeah, I’m a traveller” boast. I’m sure, in time Anjali is going to get in on this, but since she’s been on the team the extent of her travelling has been to Waukesha. And we don’t do Waukesha categories. 

All that said, I spent the last 4 days in Northern Wisconsin riding mountain bikes. Are the CAMBA trails extensive and impressive? Very much so. 

Did I, against the orders of my doctors and everyone who cares about me, jump the bike? Of course. 

Did Keith call me out for it and threaten to take away my bike? Yes

But did I find any inspiration for trivia? No. None at all. Imagine the Birkebeiner Zone category: Question #1: You guys remember like 120 years ago when humans cut down every damn tree in this zone and then planted these scrubby pines and some oaks that other trees laugh at and say, “You’ll never be old growth. Go back to tree school.”?

That one is clearly a yes or no answer, but neither is wrong based on your level of Northern Wisconsin industrial history. 

Question #5 would just be, What was the biggest boat I saw last weekend? I love a good seafaring subject, so this question isn’t even out of line.  And you’re all gonna be clowning on Spoony Bards when they write “Is bass a kind of boat?” But they are going to be correct. Wrap your brains around that one–THE QUESTION IS JUST A QUESTION, BUT THE ANSWER IS ALSO A QUESTION.

That is just not the kind of hassle any of us need this week. So please submit a round of questions to either nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com.

And to register your team follow these steps. 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 30 and Aug 5. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.  

Summer League Ender

Players, let’s get right into it. We’ve got league finals to play tonight. We’ve got prizes to give away, and I still have like 50 Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow questions to write.

Oh, you thought we barely eked out five and tossed them all righty-tighty-lefty-loosey-goosey on slides and called it good? You don’t think we come up with 50-100 a hundred of those bad boys so we can filter out answers like The Lion of Gripsholm Castle Doctrine or any of the 300 hundred clues I pitch to Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick each week that are all somehow connected to the famed Chicago-based doom metal band Bongripper? You are so very wrong. 

And honestly, the clue “Things that saddened my parents to find in my room and things my children will find in my office, which in turn will kind of bum them out” seems too niche even for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. 

Anyway the answer would have “A Jeenyus Snowboards Sticker Stuck to the Top Tube of A Two-Stage Bongripper’s Album Hate Ashbury”.  

Dang, that question sucks. I suspect 80 percent of tonight’s show will be better than that. To register, simply follow these steps. 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 23 and July 29. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

Jours des Chien

This is it players. There is no turning back. This is the final round. 

I’m not going to lie to you and say this is anyone’s game. I think we all know Milwaukee Tunnel Snakes are not going to walk away from this show victorious. There is, however, the very real chance that if things break the wrong way they will end the season having a negative points average. I’m glad I consider most of the people on that team my friends, otherwise I would feel so bad about the six weeks I’ve spent standing outside Alyssa and OG Bus Dog Ryan’s place holding up a sign that reads “You : Trivia :: Police : Serving & Protecting”. 

Also, let’s consider the people on that team I don’t consider my friends. I imagine that is a relief on some level. 

Or, what about Dreadlocks and No Socks: Tales From La Playa? We know they aren’t walking away with the Lord’s Stanley’s Trivia Cup, which is really just a beat up coffee tumbler with La Baie blanket stripes on it which I found under my sink. Chien, we don’t even know if they have a positive scoring average after we switch their metric to imperial and convert their Canadian scores for a US score at one of those airport booths that charge like a 15 percent convenience fee. 

That doesn’t mean there will not be winners somewhere in the crowd. I mean, apart from Wisconsin’s Hardest Me and Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and Anjali of Ever Increasing Wisconsin’s Hardestness, because emotionally we are the real winners here. There will be clear winners and every one is getting some sort of prize, so long as their team show up and the USPS stays operational through next week.     

Of course, you cannot win, or walk away with any sort of prize if you aren’t registered. So let’s make it official. Get your team in the mix with these four easy steps:

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 23 and July 29. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.

 

Devo Days

Ooooo, Doggie. Tonight’s show is ready to jump the eff off. We’ve got the Concertina Belcher’s requested category. I still have to make the Welcome to Blockbuster donation to The Wisconsin Humane Society, but I’ll get to it before tonight’s show. 

I tried to go over some of tonight’s highlights with Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick, but he just put up one finger and said, “Can’t talk now, these are Devo days.” 

He then shushed me away. 

So I guess that is the theme for the time being–Devo Days. Consider that when you’re getting ready for tonight’s show. Maybe you’ll think Duty Now For the Future and know you should register immediately. Or maybe you’ll consider Through Being Cool, drop that dead weight team you’ve got now and get some teammates to help you win, Kirsti. 

Of course, the best option is to think about Uncontrollable Urge and how hard Gigi Rüf ripped to that song in the 2003 snowboard vidja Back in Black. And then you’ll think about the Jeffy Anderson tribute at the end of the video and how cool that dude was.

But, before you get lost down that Gigi/Devo/Jeffy/Grandaddy/how rad snowboarding was when you were a kid wormhole, consider getting your crew registered. Like this: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 16 and July 22. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.

Looking For Losers and Winners

Attention players, we are looking for a few Concertina Belchers. It is imperative we speak with a ConBel because we need to know what category they want to see this week. As the team that had just the most pathetic showing last week, that is their honor. 

We also need to hear from last week’s winners, Welcome to Blockbuster so we know where to send their donation. If I hear nothing, their donation will be made on their behalf to Friends of Mirror Lake State Park

Typically, I would say something snarky about the general undesirability of a park, but not this time. Mirror Lake State Park has been chosen because they are currently in the middle of a stand-off between the Trunch Lake Police Department and the WHT car insurance providers Something Like Thizzsurance, LLC dba Yapers For Scrapers the proprietors of DonksScrapersSuperCambersAndSwangasProtection.biz. It seems the missing ride was located there, and is just sitting there. TLPD won’t touch it because it’s out of their jurisdiction and SLT,LLCdbaYFS can’t do anything until it is in police possession and thus no longer a stolen vehicle. So, for now it’s smashed up, missing a few windows, sitting there and making the park look bad. 

Side note, we can take last week’s winning, set it aside in a designated Welcome to Blockbuster Account and once that account hits $600 we can buy the park a bench and put whatever they want on their bench plaque. Honestly this is the best idea to ever come out of WHT. Imagine that plaque: “This bench was dedicated by Welcome to Blockbuster, the nastiest bunch of trivia fucks to ever play Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia”. 

I am so into this.

But right now I gotta recommend everyone else get on board with this week’s show. To register, do it like this: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 16 and July 22. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

Burgled!

Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Week 29 starts off with a visit from the Trunch Lake Police Department as we faced Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia and the Case of Burglary and Stolen Scraper. It should surprise no one that I was not thrilled to have the police involved, but our insurance provider, DonksScrapersSuperCambersAndSwangasProtection.biz, wasn’t even going to rent us an Itasha without some sort of police report. So the police came out and let me share the highlights with you. 

  • When I asked Officer Whiteman what the likelihood of recovery was, and suggested ten percent, he said it was more than that, but couldn’t really give me any number that made me hopeful. 
  • I also learned that the recovery typically comes from the car being parked illegally and getting a bajillion tickets so that it gets towed. Then the owners are notified. 
  • He also offered to dust for fingerprints, but gave the caveat that most of the prints will probably be mine. So he then threw a bunch of charcoal-like powder on the door and deemed there to be nothing useful. Cleaning the powder took at least 30 minutes.  
  • He then asked if I was under the influence of drugs to which I explained that love is a drug. I further suggested he note that the hanky dangling from my right pocket was certainly not a blue one, but does, in fact, have an embroidered ACAB in the corner. 

Apart from Wisconsin’s Hardest Scraper, the only other burgled item that might be important to WHT players was that all of our Gilmore Girls questions were stolen. I know this must be horrible news for Spoony Amanda, but please know that we’re hoping they’re recovered. 

Now that you’ve got the update on Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global HQ, Rap Emporium and Cadaver Dogs Training Fields all you really need to know is that Concertina Belchers finished in last place and will be picking a category for this week’s show. As of right now I’m not sure what category they want, and if I hear nothing I can only assume they’re hoping for a fresh batch of Star’s Hollows knowledge droppery. I also need to know to what cause Welcome to Blockbuster wants their winning donation made. 

And finally, to get yourself and your team ready for this week’s Wiscosin’s Hardest Trivia, follow these simple steps: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 16 and July 22. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

The Case of the Missing Kaplan West Prep Players

What a Wednesday! Am I right? I could barely sleep. There is so much excitement over this last three week push to crown the Stay At Home Summer 2020 league champions. Who will it be? Both Scrambled Eggs and Welcome to Blockbuster are sitting on 85 league points. Then OG Neal of Fortune is currently flashing a very cool 86. Or as SNeal would say, in his Milton Berle voice, “We’re pulling out just enough trivia knowledge to beat you.” 

Was that a real weird workaround to reference the penis of someone born in 1908? Sadly, yes. You’d think we’d remember ol’ MB as a contemporary of Buster Keaton and Arnold Stang. Or even as a corporate shill for Ballantine Ale–America’s Largest Selling Lager, or the host of Texaco Star Theatre. But no, I’m over here talking about wieners. 

The other important news for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia this week, is that I still have no idea where Kaplan West Prep wants their donation directed. I’ve heard nothing from Kaplan, nothing West, nothing from Anna, Elizabeth or Eddie, who I assume all have the surname Prep. Following tradition, if I hear nothing, the donation is going to Aztalan State Park, which I think is just the green space around next to the freeway between Milwaukee and Madison. The donation would actually be made to the Friend of Aztalan State Park. You read that right, “Friend”. Singular. It’s just one person. Her name is Pamela and honestly she’s not even that into the park, but she knows if she leaves the post no one will take over for her. 

I should also note Kaplan West Prep currently has 83 league points and is still very much in the running for that top spot. But get it together, KWP. Let me know to where the cash flows. 

Now, if you want to get in on some banger prizes like mugs (We are so close to being out of mugs), tee shirts and directing a couple hundred dollars worth of donations, all you have to do is win tonight’s round of trivia. And the first step towards winning is registering, which works like this: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 9 and July 15. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me.

Leak Week

Players, we gotta keep this brief today. But don’t worry, if there is anything Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia excels at, it’s brevity. So let’s nail these points.

  1. Kaplan West Prep! Where you at? I need to know where I’m making your donation for the win last week.

     B. Did I chastise Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick for spilling info on the new WHT design and then turn around and use            it for a blog post because I was hard up for imagery? Absolutely. 

  • Is there trivia this week? Of course. You know we’re here for you, players. And it’s simple, registration works like this: 
    • 1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
    • 2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 9 and July 15. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
    • 3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
    • 4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

 

(No title)

Let me tell it to you straight, players. If there were to be an in-person show tonight. If we all crammed in the basement of the Glass Nickel or in the impressive expanse of Company Brewing, there would be so many unhappy players. Even Gentrifiers of Kazan, who finally got in touch with me and asked that their winning donation last week be made to the Riverwest Co-op, thus ripping a donation from the icy grip of Lake Wissota State Park, who was fully prepared to spend the donation on gas money to drive around picking up used hypodermic needles which would then be scattered around the lake shore and in the bushes, would be bummed. 

Why? Well, I’ll tell you. If this were an in-person show, I would at full volume be blasting this new Overgrow to Overthrow compilation from Bindrune Recordings. Two plus hours of punk and metal put together to combat racism. Sure, you’ve got the perennial Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia favorites–Panopticon and Falls of Rauros and Ripped to Shreds on there, but you gotta brace yourself for Hornet Murmuration’s cover of the Dead Kennedys classic Drug Me. Then there is Chat Pile’s Crawl Space, which is a solid piece of business. And Thou shows up. I don’t know if I was ever supposed  to be into Thou, but after having them pop up with some many other acts I like in the past several years, I am fully on board. Then again, a sludge metal band from Baton Rouge who has put out a split release with the Oakland queer antifascist doom duo, Ragana, and covered Led Belly’s In The Pines for the Black Flags Over Brooklyn compilation couldn’t be more perfectly suited for me. 

All of this said, the record would be played at full volume, half of the crowd would leave, Spoony David would accept the Ohioan Solidarity song by Throne of Blood only out of buckeye brotherhood, Janet Tickets would ask me who each band is and then tell me she would rather hear Run the Jewels, and I think several members of Milwaukee Tunnelsnakes would pull me aside and earnestly ask if everything was okay. 

Fortunately, we’re not in person yet so you just need to tolerate Nick, Anjali and me prattling on. And like 25 questions about Canadian things as requested by last week’s last place finishers, Dreadlocks and No Socks:Tales From La Playa. 

Now that you’re all super-hyped to get after it, don’t forget to register. Like this: 

  1. Drop your registration fee on paypal.me/SlashGreg. There is no set registration fee, but half goes to the winning team’s chosen cause or charity and the other half helps keep the lights on at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Internet Content Chop Shop.
  2. We’re still backing the businesses which have always backed us. If you make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza between July 1 and July 8. Send some sort of proof of purchase to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and your team is registered.
  3. Pick a strong team name, and then build an even stronger team.
  4. Tune in Wednesday at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions, reach out to nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or me. 

 

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