Today is Wednesday

Players, amigos, comrades, today is Wednesday. 

I suspect this because I woke up this morning, checked the PredictIt.org markets, saw that my investment in the President’s Tweet Count market was way down, then looked over at my No Name brand appointment reminder chart. 

Laugh all you want to but you need to understand that I pretty much only leave the house for trivia and we haven’t run an on-site trivia show since the 12th of March and that means I’m on day 76 of this mess. Prior to that I was pretty much shuttered in my home on a three month no-driving stint. Prior to that I was in the hospital for 19 days and in a coma for 4 of those days. So I’m essentially on a six month streak of days having no meaning to me. I wake up, look at a sheet of yellow paper and try to figure out if we’re near the middle of a week. If so, I write about trivia. If not, I try to write trivia. 

That said, I hope all of you woke up this morning from your little mini-comas, looked at your calendars and said, “Dang! It’s Wednesday. I gotta get the band back together.” And from that moment on, you spent the next several hours texting potential teammates, asking them if they were interested, and gauging the value they bring to the team. You don’t want to show up to a trivia fight with the dead weight of 5 players. 

Imagine a team like Cheech and Jong’s Up In Smoke, sure they’re a fine team, but they aren’t a strong team. Anyway you take team captain of C&JUIS and imagine they start calling potential teammates. 

“Hi, it’s your C&JUIS team captain and I was wondering if you were going to be on my trivia team. Also, what would you say is your greatest strength on a trivia team?…Okay…go ahead…hmmm…huh…mmmmm….So, you do realize that you simply repeated the alphabet backwards, and that’s not trivia at all. But I like you, so you’re on the team.”

That’s how you build a real mediocre trivia team.

Anyway, I invite you all to show up tonight and see if your team can fare any better. The registration for this week is the usual procedure, with donations going to the Wisconsin Bike Federation

To register your team, just follow this process:

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between May 21 and 27, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel in Madison. (Side note to all you Madison pizza eaters, 10% of your Glass Nickel orders this Wednesday are donated to support National Multiple Sclerosis Society-Wisconsin Chapter. That’s a purchase that does double, if not triple, duty.
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing Wisconsin Bike Federation. They are happy to accept your donations right here.
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Tonight at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

Remembering Memorial Day

All across the country trivia players are waking up following a massive 3-day weekend, and I guess going back to work. I imagine, for some that means moving their computer from the bedside table to the kitchen. For others, that means simply staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what they’ve done with their lives. 

Either way it’s pretty easy to slide into “Is this all worth it? Why am I doing this again? These speakers cost me $1500, why do they sound like I’m listening to all these classic Fugazi albums through the Blaupunkt CD player in Nick’s high school whip.” And that is not the mindset any of us need to be in. 

I just looked at my wrist, where a watch would be, and thought, “Damn, doggie. We only have like 36 hours before this week’s hard hitting Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia session starts. I hope the players are ready. I hope they haven’t fully given themselves over to summer already. Certainly they must know this is the last week before the summer league begins. Under normal circumstances I would say this is Spoony Bards’ time to shine. But these aren’t normal times. I was biking the other day and of 5000 people I saw out in the parks and at the ice cream shops, as many as eight of them were wearing masks.”

After a weekend like this last one, now is the perfect time to stay in for a few nights. And that means getting your crew together for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, Wednesday evening at 7pm CST. 

To register your team, just follow this process:

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between May 21 and 27, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel in Madison. (Side note to all you Madison pizza eaters, 10% of your Glass Nickel orders this Wednesday are donated to support National Multiple Sclerosis Society-Wisconsin Chapter. That’s a purchase that does double, if not triple, duty.
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing Wisconsin Bike Federation. They are happy to accept your donations right here.
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Tonight at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

Game Day Prep Sesh

Welcome to Wednesday, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia players. This is typically the day I come on here and remind you to get your teams together, because the show starts tonight at 7pm CST. Certainly, Drink Tickets will have already lined up their 14 person team for the night. And Tunnel Snakes Milwaukee will have already checked-in with 12 players and a request to be notified if Drink Tickets registers with more because there are potential Tunnel Snakes players in the wings. Ready to play. And ready to do so poorly.  

But so far the teams have been Too Shy, like a classic Kajagoogoo jam. What I mean is that teams have been hush hush. I guess what I really mean is that we dropped one step from the fairly easy registration process this week and suddenly every team puts off signing up until like 6:55pm tonight. WTF? 

I get it, that’s totally my game. But you know what else is my game. Trying to write a full trivia show on a Wednesday. So listen, players, I’m going to drop myself into the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters, Rap Emporium and Instagram Influencer Resale Shop sub-basement writing station and napatorium. Maybe I’ll crank out 30 questions. Maybe I’ll just take a nap and practice wheelies on my bike.

Who knows? 

Will Tits & Giggles be back? Will I get to question number six before noon? Will The Princess Diaries III/Dreadlocks and No Socks: Tales From La Playa finally be able to recruit Drake AND Justin Trudeau to create a Torontarian super team? Will A League of Their Dild-own cry like a box of babies left outside in a Manitoba winter because they are no longer our go-to team for Canada references? How many hours long does a nap have to be before it’s just sleeping?

A few of these questions will be answered tonight. And to be fair, Socially Distant Family paused their weekly family screening of Takashi Miike’s Box segment of  Three…Extremes long enough to let us know they’re playing tonight. So thank you to them, and enjoy the rest of the show.

Now, get yourself and maybe your team ready. This week’s registration look works like this: 

  1. If you can, grab an order from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or maybe some Glass Nickel if you’re in Madison. 
  2. Encourage some new players to join in the mix. For real, each one teach one. 
  3. Get your team name to me at greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com
  4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

Open for Bizzzz…

Hear me out players, bars in Wisconsin have been open for as many as five nights now and not one has contacted us about firing up trivia night. I don’t want to assume that bar owners have looked at the people crowding into their bars and thought “Probably not the trivia type”, but sometimes you have to look at facts:

  • FACT: Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is currently operating in zero bars
  • FACT: Did you see the pics of the people who were in the now open bars? OOOOF.  

Maybe this is how it is now. Maybe Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is now Twitch’s Hardest Trivia, or just Sword Emoji, Exploding Brain Emoji, Rocker Hands Emoji. And then someone else stacks the tentacles of the sea beast. Or as the new shirts will say SEEBERHE&TSESTTOFSB. 

Damn, can you imagine how many of those shirts would be taking up in my office closet, not getting sold. Teams would be tanking their scores in the final rounds because no one wants to wear a robin’s egg blue SEEBERHE&TSESTTOFSB tee. 

Or maybe we could do turtlenecks with the branding embroidered at the neck. 

Enough about all the hypotheticals, we’re going to take a week off from donations. If you want to make a donation to whatever organization you prefer, feel free. But the main focus this week is to stay safe, have fun, and drag some new players into the mix. Maybe tell them about the SEEBERHE&TSESTTOFSB turtlenecks. 

I have to be honest, in the time it took me to write this I’ve really come around on these new shirts. 

This week’s registration look works like this: 

  1. If you can, grab a couple growlers from Company Brewing, or maybe hold off for that Fried Chicken Wednesday, because that looks tasty. If you’re in Madison, maybe you grab an order from Glass Nickel. Imagine how rad your table is going to look with A Cardiac Arrest, a Pollo Diablo and a plain cheese lined up like your own personal pizza buffet. Plus, you know you got that brekky pie in the fridge for tomorrow morning. 
  2. Encourage some new players to join in the mix. For real, each one teach one. 
  3. Get your team name to me at greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com
  4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

Somebody’s Got a Case of the Wednesdays

 

TGIWednesday, am I right? 

Remember when Fridays were our jam and everyone was just busting ass to get there so we could kick back a couple Space Whistle IPAs with our crew. Maybe you’d get a little too fired up and talk your Lyft driver into stopping off for a gyro and a half rack of donuts. 

Dang. Those were the days. 

I’m not going to act like everything is drab and life has no meaning anymore. That’s a level of anxiety I don’t care to get into, but priorities have changed. Trivia Wednesdays are the new Fridays. I’m just scraping through the week, waiting for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia to deliver thirty shots of Zoe Kazan and other things that are okay in the world. 

That said, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia can only deliver those sweet, sweet feelings if you show up to play. That means getting your team together and getting registered. I’m not too concerned with how you assemble your team. You can make it easy-peasy like Megazord (né Voltron) or weird and overly metaphorical like the entry plugs used to power EVAs, in which the human body can seemingly be broken down into a goo, unrecognizable, yet still fully conscious and aware, like a caterpillar hours after sealing itself into a cocoon.

Speaking of which, Dave on Socially Distant Family, how are you not watching Neon Genesis Evangelion? You’re over there watching Naturo, and breaking down the run technique when you could be taking a deep dive into a series that shifts pretty rapidly between “My father destroyed my life and the world, also I live with my binge-drinking boss who might be into me, but I can’t tell, and a penguin named Pen Pen”.

Anyway, here’s how you register for this week’s game:

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between May 7 and May 13, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza in Madison
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing the ACLU of Georgia and Black Lives Matter
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

It’s Been So Long Now

Does anyone have an official start date for Shelter@Home in Wisconsin? How long has it been? I know that in the time it took to type this sentence I could have looked up this information, but I didn’t. 

That’s how creativity works, baby. I just keep the keys a-clickety-clacking. Then I alternate between mugs full of coffee and mugs full of frozen margs. While you were all out there spending your Covid-19 bucks on things like guitars or game consoles, maybe some extra guac, I was investing. Legally, I think I have to say that this is not really investing advice and past performance is not an indicator of future success. I should also note that this entire record of trivia updates should serve as a warning against my business advice. I just suggested that extra guac, a guitar and a game console cost roughly the same. I don’t know if that is true or false. It’s been so long since I’ve been anywhere. 

Anyway, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Rap Emporium invested in a frozen margarita machine. Sure, I’m unhealthier now than I have ever been, but my mouth is so goddamn blue. It’s mind blowing. I don’t even know what flavor the blue ones are supposed to be, and I really don’t even know what color blue is. 

I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m going to be really bummed if they end this whole ordeal on day 68. 

That said, we have done a great job over the last few weeks raising hundreds of dollars for a small rack of causes, and spent a ton of money with Company Brewing and Glass Nickel. It’s all really amazing.

I was thinking about the money raised over the last few weeks and how it would be okay to just take a break from raising money, but then Tunnelsnakes Take Chicago suggested doing something in response to the shooting of Ahmuad Arbery, and yeah, that’s about all the convincing I needed. 

Standard team registrations procedure for this week: 

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between May 7 and May 13, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza Co. – Madison East.
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing the ACLU of Georgia and Black Lives Matter
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

Trivia Day in the E-neighborhood

Welcome to Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Day. I can’t even imagine the anxiety ripping through each player’s mind right now. Is my team going to cut me loose this week? Am I the dead weight? Could they find another player who can tilt their head just so and recognize Colombia at an arbitrary angle? They won’t drop me if I’m the one who makes the donation, right?

Perhaps you’ve never considered these options, or asked yourself, “Am I good enough to be a Tunnelsnake, or Gentrifier of Catan, or Spoony Bard?” Maybe you’ve floated through your trivia life, reeking of privilege, never checking the stats sheet. Maybe it’s time you consider what the Patron Saint of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, Lewis Carroll said, after he asked, “How is a raven like a writing desk?” He paused giving teams very little time to discuss their answers, as though it mattered, and then said, “Remember, if you can’t spot the dead weight after two rounds of trivia, you’re the dead weight.”  

With all those concerns now on your plate, it’s time to get your six-player team together and get ready for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. To register your team, just follow this process:

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between April 30 and May 6, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel in Madison
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing Eau Claire Music School. Give them a push via their donations page: https://bit.ly/2yoZSVW
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Tonight at 7pm on https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

The Recipe For Trivia Success

We are deep in it now, players. Eau Claire Music School support week is upon us, so let’s take a look at the metrics.

There are rumblings on various messenger services, or chatforms, about new teams showing up. Will Eau Claire come out to support their local arts education crew? Will we, for the first time, have a repeat e-trivs champion with a name as glorious as Tits & Giggles? If Dave from Quaranteam/Socially Distant Family is currently “practicing” his Naruto run, how will he know when he has perfected it? How will we know? If a bottlenose dolphin wore a Covid-19 facemask, would it wear it like this? Or like this? 

Considering these are metrics we’re working with, it should surprise no one that it’s Nick and me over here, standing next to the industrial mixer, cooking up a fresh batch of 30 questions. We’re also using a facial recog app that makes us look like the former Cinnamon Toast Crunch bakers. You might think it’s hilarious but those fools haven’t been on the boxes, or on the ads, for at least five years. Times are tough. In this economy no one is looking to hire an elderly baker whose solution to everything seems to be “dump sugar on it” and who doesn’t stop talking about how when he started in the kitchen he was slapping all the butts. In his words, “A handful of sugar here. Maybe you grab a rump over there. Pinch a tuchus here. A little tush push by the bowl of mush mush. You know, the DEA, or the Federal Bureau of Narcotics as it was then, once paid me to bake a batch of Cinnamon Toast Crunch covered in heroin for Billie Holiday. Do you know how much sugar it takes to cover the taste of government grade junk? I do.”  

Anyway, Nick and I are keeping the temples clean-ish and will have the show ready to go for you tomorrow night. We’re serving it up at 7pm CST, and everyone is welcome. 

To register all you need to do is

  1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between April 30 and May 6, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza in Madison.
  2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing Eau Claire Music School. Give them a push via their donations page: https://bit.ly/2yoZSVW
  3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
  4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.

If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

 

From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell

I checked the calendar when I woke up this morning and I expected it to read May 4. I pointed my finger to the first monday in May, but there was just a square that read, “Still March, But With Better Weather”.
 
That’s not even the strangest part of the morning, because after I checked the calendar I walked down the hall to check the time and there was my grandfather clock staring right down my throat. And he leaned a little bit closer and he told me and I quote, “If you ever race against me, you will surely come up short.” He said, “I’m better than your Timex, your Rolex or your Swatch. Your Fossil, Casio, quartz, your diamond studded watch.” He said, “I control how long you stay alive. I’mma tap you on your shoulder at eleven fifty-five when the time arrives and then and only then you’ll have your five minutes of funk.”
 
So anyway, weird morning here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global HQ and Rap Emporium. This gets us right into this week’s trivia show. Once again we’re going off Wednesday night at 7pm, and keeping up with our tradition of supporting local causes, we’re moving north this week and backing the Eau Claire Music School.
 
There are so many great organizations out there, but this one is a little closer for me. The school was started by the good friend and occasional trivia player Shawn, and after a few years he sold it to Nick P who, along with being the area’s leading ethnomusicologist for traditional hmong music, was also one of the few people who would talk to me in confirmation class. Plus, the music school has put a 14-part Daily Ukulele class on Facebook for everyone to use. I just check the score sheet and that’s a hat trick of radness.
 
Apart from trivia on Wednesday nights, maybe an eight-hours scrabble session, and trying to figure out where to get delivery from today, what else are you going to do with your time?
 
Get a ukulele. Learn to play it with the ECMS.
Think about every time you were at a house party in college and some dude broke out a guitar and then proceeded to ruin The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army. Now, imagine if that would have been a Ukulele? How nice would it be to have back that decade during which you couldn’t listen to The White Stripes on account of poor guitarists?
 
Anyway, standard registration set up for this week.
 
1. Support the businesses that have supported us for so long. Between April 30 and May 6, make a purchase from Company Brewing in Milwaukee or Glass Nickel Pizza Co. – Madison East.
 
2. If pizza and beer isn’t your game, consider a donation. This week we’re backing Eau Claire Music School. Give them a push via their donations page: https://bit.ly/2yoZSVW
 
3. Then get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and provide your team name.
 
4. Tune in Wednesday night at https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia and get your brain scrambled.
If you have any questions or concerns about registering feel free to shout at me or nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com

Game Day Decisions

We’ve got about nine hours before Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia fires up for the night. And before then Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick and Wisconsin’s Hardest I need to write 28 more questions and find some super rad zoom backgrounds to use. 

As for you, players, you’ve got choices to make. What’s your team name going to be? Who’s going to be on your team? Is it okay if I tell my family I’m going to the store for a pack of cigarettes but never come home and instead move to New York City and become a world renowned diamond thief during the time of Corona? 

These are all legitimate questions, but ultimately all can wait until after you’ve registered your team for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tonight. The only real question you need to answer before playing tonight is, “What are you going to support?” 

If you’re in Milwaukee, are you going to throw a few dollars at the Silver Spring Neighborhood Center to support their emergency response campaign? Or are you going to pick up a rack of those Company Brewing Space Whistle IPAs? Either way you’re going to be helping out your community.

And then the Madison teams also have to choose. Are they going to back that financial ass up to the Silver Spring Neighborhood Center? Or are they going to place the Glass Nickel East order knowing that all proceeds for today, April 29, go to support the Goodman Community Center food pantry. That right there is a double dip of do-goodery.

Heavy is the head that wears the penguin. Am I right? 

Anyway, get some sort of proof of purchase or donation to me, greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia, and then get your team together and get your rumps over to https://www.twitch.tv/wisconsinshardesttrivia tonight at 7pm. See you then.

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