Birth of a Legend

Oh, hello, players. Come in, come in. 

You look like someone who has come here to gain some insight into this week’s trivia show. What do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to tell you that I’m proud of this week’s show as a whole, but if you look at any questions individually, the work we’ve done here is an assault on the well being of society? Do you want me to say that Wisconsin’s Hardest Anjali is currently camped out in an undisclosed North Carolina bunker and therefore we’re probably looking at a category on the Great State of North Carolina? Is that what you want to hear? 

And what of Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick? What are they gonna say about him, when he’s gone, huh? What are they gonna say? Are they gonna say “he was a kind man”? “He was a wise man”? “He had plans”; “He had wisdom”? Bullshit, man! What are they gonna do when he’s gone? What are they gonna turn to me? I mean come on, look at me! Am I gonna set them straight? 

No, you, players, you’re the ones who need to tell the story of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. You’re the ones who need to make sure the world knows the story of the fighters. How a ragtag group of trivia players like Good Enough, or even Tunnelsnakes Take Chicago, took on Alphabet Mafia

And don’t wait for time to create the legend, do it now. Make it one team, call them Good Enough, Chicago. Tell the story of how this crew of bad players, good people, and just purely fucking dog shit trivia players, stepped up and took on the super power. 

Will they win the Spring 2021 league? Of course not. We’re going to have to rely on Scrambled Eggs or That’s A Considerable Amount of Raven, or maybe even OGNOF, to take down the champs. But it’s a legend, so what does it matter? I mean, what could go wrong with a few thousand years of people telling a story from only their point of view? 

Side note: the current events category is about 80 percent a downer this week. Yay!

To secure your spot in history–to be able to tell your friends and family, 50 years in the future, that you were there–get your team registered for this week’s show. 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then. 

 

Drinking an Entire Fifth of May

I am unsure of how to approach today. I don’t know whether we should be inviting all the teams into the mix, letting them know the playing tonight is basically like getting free league points. Or, do we warn them that no teams stand a chance tonight.

And, of course, in both situations I’m talking about teams other than Drink Tickets. It’s hard to know how they are going to perform tonight. 

You see, today is Cinco de Mayo, which to Drink Tickets is like 4/20 is to Comparatively, That’s Pretty Much Raven. Or the way September 28, International Menthols Only Day, is celebrated by Taints. Or how Milwaukee Tunnelsnakes and Good Enough both get super hyped on those rare years when Ben & Jerry’s Free Scoop day coincides with one of Skoal’s Free Tin of Fat Lip events. 

In most cases I would step aside and let Anjali of Ever Increasing Wisconsin Hardness drop some cultural appropriation and misrepresentation knowledge, but Drink Tickets isn’t even acting out of ignorance, this is obliviousness. I was talking with Kentucky Janet and she was insistent that it was actually just a fun way to say the date, the way people say “Adios” when they leave. Drink Ticket Kirsti refused to believe there was anything behind the date and assumed it was simply what she called “a themed beer day. Like Syttende Mai or le Quatorze Juillet or Once de Septiembre.”

I even stopped at Wartime Frank’s Zinc Smelter, Chicken Shack and Trap Emporium to ask him what he knew of the date. His response was “What do YOU know of the date?” and he then led me into a room where there were many news clippings on the wall, much red yarn, and several other design elements leading me to believe Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick IS Cinco de Mayo. 

What I’m getting at is, tonight is all up in the air. No one knows how it’s going to shake out. But there is a show, there is a category about Music Industry Alter Egos, and it is going to be a good time. So get your crew together and get registered. 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then. 

 

Cookin’!

Players, I hope you’re ready for tonight’s show, because we’ve been letting this one marinate. No sooner had last week’s show wrapped, when Anjali, Nick and I popped on those tall toques blanche and started mixing it up. 

We knew we had to turn up the heat on this league. We can’t have Alphabet Mafia over there eating everyone’s dinner. So we had to change up the recipe. We thought about currying favor with a couple teams, talking to the likes of Drink Tickets, asking them what we can do to help them rise to the top. And we spoke with Sippin’ Syrup about possibly cooking someone Canada goose. We even talked to Clever Girl, trying to figure out what they can do to bring things to a boil. 

Dog, listen, I even traveled to the home of OG Neal of OG Neal of Fortune. Once there, I made him watch Casper Kelly’s Too Many Cooks while I watched him, trying to gauge his level of enjoyment. I then did the same with the 2020 Sightless Pit album Grave of a Dog. I don’t know which was more troubling for him or if it was the whole experience in general. But it’s like Coolio once said, “If you can’t take the heat, get your ass out the kitchen”.

What I’m really trying to get at is tonight’s show features a category on bakers, baking and bakeries. So once you’ve got your team together, get registered and get ready to play. 

 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then.

 

Dose Dos

Players…PLAYERS. Listen up. There is certainly a trivia show tonight. That much I can guarantee. But I am promising nothing else. 

Okay, I’ll also promise a category about Walls. You know, walls. Those of Jericho, those greater and lesser ones in China, that one in the men’s room of pretty much every college bar that had a hole punched in it, or maybe the rapper, Paul. 

That is really all I can promise you, because I am on shaky ground over here. Round two of the Moderna vaccine is no joke. If you’ve been living through this whole pandi thinking “time doesn’t even mean anything”,  just wait until you get into the vaccine activation phase. I just checked my watch, and it’s just a recipe for Nanaimo bars, and I respect it because it really stresses the importance of using Birds brand custard.

Trust me, this is a recipe that gets it. It also does nothing to tell me the time though. 

Anyway, to get in on tonight’s show all you need to do get your team registered: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then.

 

Returning to the Parks

A note to all trivia players: It’s time to step-up your performance. These games you’ve been playing, it’s like a Backstreet Boys single. Each week I think a different team has the opportunity to take down Alphabet Mafia, but no one ever does it.  

You take a team like Milwaukee Tunnel Snakes, a team that shows up every week, and I get so excited for their arrival. I tidy the place up, rearrange the bookshelf so only the Murakami, Phillip Roth and Roberto Bolano books are showing. Tucked away are the How To Write Trivia and An Introduction to Modern Alchemy: Making Your First Million With Online Gambling. But none of it matters, It’s like they don’t even notice me. 

Then there is the Tunnelsnakes Take Chicago. They show up, slide their way into our trivia hearts, and then start running their cons. “Send us $50 and we’ll come see a live trivia show.” “We can’t play tonight because John’s sambas are scuffed. If he had a fresh pair we’d totally be there. Maybe you could have a pair delivered for him.” and “Send us all the answers and we’ll send you a pic of some crisp sneaks on a grimy-ass Chicago side. We’ll even crush some sport peppers in cracks so you know it’s Chicago.” And here I am one year later still trying to figure out if there is anything good in this bit about John wearing Adidas sambas.

Then there is Drink Tickets, who have pulled a full role-reversal and are now just sending stamped blocks of Zinc to me. I know it’s not a precious, or even semi-precious metal, but I’m pretty sure it’s a D-block metal, in which case the D stands for dope. Maybe even super dope. 

And I could single out each team, point out their successes and failures, like some kind of performance review, but there isn’t time for that. We need to finish writing a category about the national parks for tonight’s show. Laura Dern’s Chelsea has to map out her attacks on the entire Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia organization. Attacks I assume can only be attributed to Phil Nike’s signature on her paychecks and my strong commitment to the weak storyline about John’s Adidas Sambas.

Plus, every team needs to get registered for the show. 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.  

The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you then. 

 

The League Rolls On

AWWW YISSSS, PLAYERS. Your MFin’ Wednesday has arrived. That means you’re about to virtually get together with a couple friends, maybe a couple people you don’t know that well but who are good at trivia, and then spend the evening watching three hosts who you don’t like much at all ask you a bunch of questions. It’s a practice the hosts claim is trivia, but honestly seems like some sort of torture designed to humiliate all but like three teams.   

But then you tell yourself, “Maybe this week will be different”. Maybe you heard Wisconsin’s Hardest Greggers and Anajli of Ever Increasing Wisconsin Hardness flipped the damn playbook this week. Maybe you don’t know Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick has been planting the seeds of chaos for years and just the other day he looked up from his writing desk, walked to the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Rap Emporium Wall of Fame (which is coincidentally in the Hall of Shame), pulled down the Alphabet Mafia team photo, broke it over his knee and muttered, “It’s harvest time”.

Now players, I understand you might be looking at this and thinking tonight’s show is going to be way too intense for me. But look at the facts. There’s going to be something about current events. Wild Card and WTF are going to be in the line-up. You know Good Enough got last place last week, so there is certain to be a category about northern infrastructure, or jazz, or AV inputs from the bronze age of personal computers, or maybe even all of those at once. 

Plus, this week we’ve even got an entire comic book category. So, players, get excited. You can handle this.

But first, get registered: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then. 

 

Holy Week Showdown!

Players, Wednesday is upon us. And if you remember your religious education you’ll recall that famous decree “Keep open the day of the hump, for it is the day of the trivia.” 

And now I know you can quickly turn to me and say but what of you, Wisconsin’s Hardest Greggers? Where have you been this holy week? 

I have to be honest with you, players. I was on a possible Trivia Expansion recon mission that took me to a sad, uncomfortable place. If you’re one who is into bicycles, like me, you know all the North American buzz is about Northwest Arkansas. So, I said to myself consider this, WHT-NWA. And that’s really where it all went wrong. 

What I say going forward, I say knowing we have at least one player from Arkansas. I love that player, I think they’re great and they even took the time to explain several times, “I will never go back to Arkansas.” Yet, there I was loading up the WHT Ineos Grenadier and driving south. 

The Ozarks are pretty great. With reservations, I suggest everyone check out that zone. I’m sure it’s fun as hell to rip bikes through those hills. But crossing into Arkansas comes with weight. The first community I rolled through, Alpena, seems like a 3 block flea market selling confederate battle flags and a shitty liquor store on the edge of town. From that point on there was never not a very tall truck driving like three feet behind me, regardless of my speed, at all times. 

Then I arrived in Fayetteville, which is reportedly like a Madison of the south. I was thinking “Damn, doggie, I live in a, if not the, Madison, this place might be alright.” But it’s not. I’m pretty sure Trump is still president there and all stimulus checks are going to make trucks higher and louder. Three quarters of the city’s property value is tied up in insanely large, tax-exempt, sorority and fraternity houses so there is no municipal budget to put curb cuts on any of the sidewalks. And everything is closed on Sunday. 

All this to say, there will be no WHT-NWA. But there will be one brutal Arkansas category tonight, so brace yourselves. If you want to get in on it, the registration process is easy-peasy.

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then. 

 

Not a Wrestling Fan, But a Huge Fan of Wrestling References

Players, we are now one week into spring league and things are looking good for the Milwaukee teams. That’s Somewhat Raven took a few weeks off, walked back into the tournament hall, crushed all competitors and then walked out with that fat Company Brewing gift card. Sure, Scrambled Eggs Benedict turned on the heat for a moment, but TSR ran the show, top to bottom. 

Alphabet Mafia tried to pose a challenge, but could only lurch into third place. I like to think that after the game, at the Alphabet Mafia league week one post mortem, Taylor “The Kid” broke out his Macho Man Randy Savage imitation and claimed he was “…unjustifiably in a position I’d rather not be in.” Time is going to tell if Alphabet Mafia is the cream that rises to the top. 

Then there were the other surprises, Drink Tickets didn’t overload the team and tank their score. I can only assume OGNOF is laying back in the cut, getting ready to strike. And as for Laura Dern, I’ve heard the real Laura Dern has contacted them regarding their performance and demand they stop using the LD name unless they start “smoking these other trivia fools the way Wisconsin’s Hardest Greggers did to that three-liter gravity bong they built at Brad’s apartment when he lived above the Grand Ave cafe.” 

Now we’re rolling on to week two. I suspect a lot of these teams are ready to slide into that top spot and there may even be a couple new teams ready to walk in and start wrecking the whole scene. 

For anyone who wants to play tonight I suggest you do a little research on obscure SubReddits and then get yourself registered by following these steps 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then.  

 

The League is here!

Oh, good morning, players. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.

Me? What am I doing? Like any typical St. Patrick’s Day, I’m trying to find someplace that will give me a hot shot of a cold vaccine. It seems the “I’ve been on a ventilator before and I’d rather not do that again” excuse is not getting me anywhere so I’m now trying to roll with the obesity classification, which is doing wonders for self esteem, which leads to increased psych meds, which then pushes my blood pressure up and then BANG! I qualify because of hypertension. 

Say it with me, “USA! USA! USA!”

Of course, with my free hand I’m also tipping back these Guinness Draught cans in quick succession and getting ready for tonight’s trivia show. I hope you’re doing the same because we’ve got a real good one, or as Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick claims they say in Wisconsin’s Hardest Ireland, “A right proper banger, but not the sausage, which is more of an English thing anyway, but a banger, you know, like every fucking album The Cranberries ever released”

If that doesn’t sound oddly promising, I don’t know what does. Get your team registered: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

The show starts tonight at 7pm central. See you then. 

 

The League Lead Up

Players, I hate to be the one to put pressure on you, but someone has to do it. I know we’re all in our own sort of struggle right now and over the past 12 months, so you might not be ready to hear this news. Perhaps you need to steady yourself or kick back on your fainting couch. 

You do that. I’ll wait. 

Now that you’ve kicked back a bit, or if you’re someone like Clever Girl Dan, you’ve probably undone the top few buttons on what is surely a very nice flannel shirt, I think we’re ready for the news. 

  1. It is league time. That’s right, We’re are launching this spring league this Wednesday Night. St. Patrick’s Day Night. You know, Irish Mardi Gras. But instead of a king cakes and truly bonkers parades, there are pints of dyed green Bud Light at a bar with a name like Jimmy Dengates, Sean O’Malley’s or, ugh, The Claddagh, and the whole theme of the place seems to be Guinness posters, malt vinegar for your french fries and the worst bartenders. If you’re lucky you’ll stumble into the bathroom to see a poster of a woman with so much curly red hair, crouched beside an Irish Setter and the caption “We’re Irish” which you will spend the next 15 years wishing you could either forget or figure out.

    Typically, we wouldn’t start a league on a holiday like this but I’m thinking that this might be the best St. Patrick’s Day most of us have ever had. No pressure to wear dumb plastic hats and the ability to look at options for Dropkick Murphys songs and realize, I don’t want to listen to any of these. Instead we’re just indoors, tipping back a Mash Tundra or a Pink Boots DDH Hazy Double IPA from our friends at Company Brewing and kicking some knowledge with sworn internet enemies.

  2. It’s also Wisconsin’s Hardest Nick’s birthday, and I have to ask, what did YOU get him?

 

If you and your team are ready to try to take the take home the spring league top spot, I suggest you get to know some things about Ireland and then get registered by: 

  1. The Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia entrance fee is $10/player, or $50/team of six players. Teams can still play with more than six players, but will be docked 10 points for each additional player. Drop your payments on paypal.me/SlashGreg.
  2. Once your team has registered, you’ll get the password to the Zoomiary. 
  3. Be sure your teammates know your team name before the game starts, this will allow us to put you on the right team.
  4. Finally, if you have any questions, drop an email on Nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com, Anjali@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or Greg@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com and we’ll get you in the mix.   

The show starts Wednesday Night at 7pm central. See you then.  

 

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